Bad Reputation
by slickchick84
Summary: Hey, even the bad apples deserve a little love, right? Lust, love, guilt, a little deception, but it's mostly about redemption. Kymen and Spashley.
1. Bad Reputation

**So some of you know that I've been threatening to write a fic based mostly on Kyla/Carmen for a while now and I've actually done it! Yup, I'm not sure how long a piece this will be or how well it will go over, but I'm doing it! 'Cos Carmen and Kyla are hot and collectively they kinda blow my pervy mind. Also, I see some similarities in them after reading all the spoilers and stuff, so it makes for some fun fucking...uh...I meant to type fic-ing, I swear! **

**Obviously though, I'm not making Carmen this evil ho that's going to try to steal Spencer from Ashley...uhm, well, she'll only start out that way, but she'll see the light soon enough!**

**Onto the warning then: HERE BE SOME SPOILERS!! Though I do mostly veer off into my own little universe with them after a while...**

**I don't own SoN, it's all Tommy Lynch's.**

Bad Reputation.

Chapter 1

Carmen had been down on her luck before, but being homeless was pushing the envelope in her opinion. Not only had she fucked it up with Spencer, the first sweet girl she met, but she goes and turns into a bum too. Life...was not good.

And it was all her own fault.

She knew that of course, because although she might have anger management issues as well as a sizable inferiority complex, she wasn't exactly stupid. She had a theory actually that stupid people had it easier than the smart ones, 'cos half the time they were too dumb to realize exactly how messed up their lives where. You couldn't be unhappy with your lot in life if you weren't smart enough to realize that there was probably something better out there for you.

So Carmen was smart enough to know that being a homeless person at seventeen was not the best she could have done with her life so far. She had brooded on it some, sitting on her park bench that doubled as a bed when the shelters were full, eating a can of baked beans she'd stolen from a local grocery store. She had wanted to go for the good stuff, some canned meat or something, but she'd panicked and grabbed the first tin she could. Turned out she wasn't as badass as she thought she was...

Shoplifting for the first time had almost made her pee her pants.

So she had sat there, eating baked beans and wondering how the hell she was going to get herself out of her current predicament when some pimply faced teenage boy had walked up to her and wordlessly handed her a flyer.

It was for a soup kitchen, a time and date and address printed neatly on blue paper inviting everyone in need to come on over and get fed.

It had pissed Carmen off to a great degree that she had actually started _looking_ homeless. Why the hell else would the guy have given her the flyer?!

So she had made sure to bathe as thoroughly as one could in a public restroom before she headed to the advertised soup kitchen the next day. There was quite the crowd, young and old, black and white, the good smelling (Carmen) and the bad smelling (the guy who stood behind her sporting a Jesus beard!). Yet as the line moved and she came closer to a hot meal, someone from the crowd stood out.

Well, more like stuck out like a sore thumb, what with her bright red heels and Gucci sunglasses perched on top of sleek, gleaming dark hair.

Kyla Woods.

Carmen had instantly known who she was, but that wasn't surprising seeing as Kyla's face had been plastered on cheap tabloid magazines for the last few weeks. Everyone knew about Kyla and her inherited millions as well as her fall from grace. Mostly it was the part about the inherited millions that peaked Carmen's interest.

Normally, despite what happened between her and Spencer, she wouldn't have classified herself as a bad person. She wasn't inherently corrupt or selfish or mean spirited, but that day she made a decision that was less than moral. Necessity made you forget things like morals and ethics in the end.

It didn't come to her immediately, the plan that is, but kinda crept up on her. She only realized what she was doing after the fact almost. It had started relatively innocent enough, with Carmen just wanting to know how Spencer was.

Kyla had been scooping up soup into a bowl when Carmen spoke up, her voice full of it's usual confidence, despite her current situation.

"So how's Spencer doing these days?"

The question coming so out of the blue had obviously startled Kyla, soup splashing onto her manicured hands and a curse fluttering from between her glossed lips.

"Uh...what?"

Carmen had smiled then, unconsciously deciding that Kyla Woods wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

"I asked how Spencer was doing. You guys are friends, right?"

Kyla had looked her up and down then, from the top of her slightly in need of a wash hair to the scuffed knock off Converse on her feet. Carmen was pissed off at first, her default setting for a good while now, but when she looked down at herself she couldn't really blame the girl for giving her the curiously confused look.

She looked like crap. Or more accurately, crap that had been sleeping on a park bench while eating baked beans and left overs of dubious origin for quite some time now. It was all a little disheartening when she'd looked at it that way. She guessed she would also have found it hard to believe that Spencer Carlin, all round good girl and as vanilla as they come, would be friends with someone like her.

When she looked up and finally caught Kyla's eye again, she gave a small shrug and self deprecating smile.

"Hey, at least I smell better than I look. I call it Eau De Public Bathroom, it's affordable and easily found in a park near you..."

For a second or two Kyla had stared open mouthed at her, then gave a bark of laughter that she tried to disguise as a muffled cough.

"Uh...right, think I'll stick to Chanel No.5 though."

Then they were back to staring at each other, Carmen grinning like she didn't have a care in the world and Kyla fighting the urge to do the same. That lasted all of five seconds, because Carmen at that point became aware of hot breath on the back of her neck and the creepy feeling you get when someone invades your private space.

When she turned around she found herself staring straight into the suspiciously moving beard of the Jesus look alike behind her. She cocked her head to the side to get a better look and finally decided that yes, it was indeed bugs or lice or some other creepy fucking thing that was crawling around in the guy's beard.

Carefully, but quickly, she took a step back and put some distance between herself and whatever infestation the guy was wanting to share. All she needed now was to pick up crabs waiting in line at a soup kitchen. She was pretty sure that was hitting rock bottom right there!

Or, and this was her more morose side talking, she figured it was maybe Karma's way of getting back at her for shoving a very sweet girl into a wall. Her chest tightened at the thought, shame and guilt washing over her as it always did when she remembered how she had treated Spencer. She was her father's daughter in the end and her inability to change that fact grated on her heavily.

Before the depression and self hate could set in, she mentally shook it off. The middle of a soup kitchen with a hot chick staring at you wasn't the spot to have a nervous breakdown after all. Carmen reserved that for nights on her park bench, when she stared at the stars for hours and let the loneliness and guilt creep in.

So with a smirk she should in all reality not be wearing in her current situation, she turned back to Kyla and wiggled her eyebrows.

"What do you say you and me go find ourselves a table where it's not so...crowded."

She meaningfully looked at Crab Man who was giving both her and Kyla a rather scary, toothless grin and watched as Kyla frowned, her nose twitching slightly as she caught a whiff of him.

"You know, that's not a bad idea. I mean I've been on my feet all day and I'm due a break anyway..."

She trailed off and looked over to the tables and benches a few feet away, before making a move to walk around the table where the big pots of soup where standing. Yet when Carmen's stomach growled and her face flushed in slight embarrassment, both girls where reminded why Carmen was there in the first place. For a second or two both girls just stared at each other, until Carmen hung her head and bit her lip, fighting off the tears again. She wasn't sure if they were tears of sadness or tears of anger, or if the hopelessness of her life was catching up with her again. She just knew that in that moment, with Kyla standing in front of her, the reality of her life was a painful thing to accept.

It was in that moment that Kyla, vain and shallow as she could be, felt something stir in her chest. Something like sympathy, or if she was honest, maybe even empathy. The last few months she had lost herself, had become a warped and twisted version of who she thought she was or at least could be and looking at Carmen standing in front of her, she figured the girl might know a little something about that. Neither of their lives had worked out as they had imagined.

For all the apparent differenced, they were very possibly scarily alike.

So without a further word she finished scooping a bowl as full as she could with warm soup and loaded a paper plate with bread. She didn't flinch or frown as she finally made her way around the serving table and took Carmen by the hand, fingers fitting familiarly together despite the fact that she had never even spoke to the girl before that day.

Kyla was tired of screwing up, tired of being a vapid, selfish and lately self destructive girl. That was Ashley's shtick after all. So she did what her heart told her, something she sadly couldn't remember doing in a very long time, at least not since her first months in L.A after her father died, and led Carmen to a table.

She would let the girl eat, because God knows it was obvious she was hungry, and she would let her talk. Or they could sit quietly, whatever it was this girl with her startlingly sad, blue eyes wanted to do, because not everything was about her, Kyla Woods, in the end. And wasn't that the point of volunteering at a soup kitchen?

She wanted to change,_ needed_ to change, and maybe helping this girl today in this small way was another small step in the right direction.

Okay, fine, and she kinda wanted to know how Spencer knew someone that was so obviously not from their usual crowd, because she might have been on the path of redemption and all that, but she _was_ still Kyla Woods. And Kyla Woods was pretty damn curious.

So the two girls sat down at a table in some shade and without realizing it, without meaning it to happen, they started down a road that no one would ever have imagined them traveling. Kyla with her (almost purely) good intentions and Carmen with her (initially) selfish motivations, were about to impact on each other's lives, whether the world was ready for it or not.

Fate, it would seem, had a pretty wicked sense of humor like that.

- - -

**So I'm hoping you all will give this a chance and if you like it, tell me and I'll continue. If you hated it, please flame in a respective manner, for I am thin skinned, sensitive and might just shrivel up and DIE! (I'm also pretty mellow dramatic, sorry!) **

**This is mostly set up, but I hope you look past that (and the pairing) and be open minded about this little story. **


	2. Baby, I'm bad news

**Alrighty, first off I have to apologize for the long delay between updates, but my brother came down for a visit and I couldn't exactly sit down and right my lesbian love story with him sitting in my room half the time, now could I? Lol.**

**Okay, to all of those that reviewed and added this story to their favorites already, thank you very much. As always the support helps a lot and is very appreciated. **

**I don't own SoN, but I'm pretty sure we've established this already;)**

Bad Reputation

Chapter 2

Carmen was hungry.

It was apparent in the way her eyes glazed over at the sight of the full bowl of soup in front of her as well as the fact that she was practically drooling. The look on her face could only be described as aching with want, the way she bit the corner of her mouth and her narrowed eyes showing how serious and absolute her focus was.

Kyla watched her closely and eventually just rolled her eyes as Carmen sat stock still, a minute shiver running through her body and making her look very much like a race horse waiting for the gates to open before making a mad dash for the finish line. The finish line, Kyla supposed, was the bowl of soup and bread resting untouched in front of her.

"Do you mind if I dig in?"

Carmen's eyes never left the food as she spoke, her hand actually suspended over the bowl just waiting for the okay. She didn't want to seem impolite, but God knew that if she didn't eat something and soon, she'd start chewing her own foot off.

"Not at all."

It was all she needed to hear. She laid into the food heartily, bread being dunked and soup being shoveled into her mouth in record time. She wasn't sure when she'd get a hot meal, as much as watery soup counted as a hot meal, again and wasn't wasting the opportunity. She would eat until she exploded, would store as much as her short frame could keep and try to ignore the fact that a pretty decent looking girl was watching her do it.

Exactly two minutes and forty two seconds later, Carmen pushed her empty bowl away and brushed the bread crumbs off her t-shirt. Kyla simply sat watching her with an eyebrow slightly raised.

"You were hungry."

It was a sad statement made by someone that had vary rarely been faced with this kind of reality. Kyla lived in a world that was made up of rock star fathers, Porche driving half sisters and all night parties at clubs where drinks and drugs where thrown at you from all angles.

Her biggest problem was a fight with her sister and the niggling suspicion that her coke habit was getting out of hand. Somehow Carmen's genuine, simple hunger made her feel guilty for thinking that her life really sucked that much.

"That I was."

Carmen sat back and wiggled her belt a bit, her jeans having become uncomfortably tight after the amount of bread and soup she just stuffed herself with. Still, sitting there with a warm belly and no hunger pangs was pretty much the highlight of her month. Well, it came a very close second to getting drunk with this old bat shit crazy bum the week before.

That had been surprisingly fun.

Who knew drunk, sixty something year olds could imitate Marge Simpson's voice so well? Sure surprised the shit out of Carmen.

"So you're friends with Spencer?"

Kyla's voice shook her from the memory of Martie doing the polka around her park bench and she blinked for a second or two.

"Uh...yeah, we actually used to date a while back. It didn't really end well..."

Carmen felt heat creeping up her cheeks, shame once again making her replay the image of Spencer banging into the wall. She'd been so angry, felt so used and hurt, the anger had all but numbed her from rational feeling and thought. When she'd done it, she'd watched in the way you'd watch a car accident happen, feeling scared and powerless to stop it.

Only thing is she _could_ have stopped it.

She could have screamed more, or simply given Spencer the finger and told her to fuck off, but she had literally pushed her away in the end. Sure the fact that there had been a wall behind Spencer had made it seem worse than it could have been, had made the difference between what would have just been Carmen trying to get Spencer out of her face and something that seemed so...abusive, but Carmen couldn't let it pass like that. That's why she'd given in that day standing in front of the school with Spencer, because she _did_ get it. She understood why Spencer couldn't give her a reason to stay, she understood _painfully_ well.

She remembered her dad, remembered how things had started small and only escalated each time. One shove had turned into one slap and one slap had later turned into a fist in the gut, until finally he managed to even work in a steel tipped workman's boot against fragile ribs. So she knew what she was becoming, or could become if she didn't somehow find a way to curb her anger and her darkness.

Though knowing something must be done was completely different from actually knowing what to do.

"Spencer dated you? But...I...well, I guess I lost touch with Spencer for a while there, so I guess I missed that she dated someone new."

Carmen's dark brows rose as a crooked, puzzled smile formed on her mouth.

"Your sister didn't tell you about that? That's funny, 'cos I got the idea she didn't like it very much."

Her words were laced with sarcasm, because saying Ashley Davies had simply disliked Spencer dating someone was putting it mildly. Carmen had got the idea that if Ashley could have quietly made her disappear (and by that she meant cut into itty bitty pieces and dumped into the ocean) she would have.

Kyla for her part looked down onto the table and traced a slightly skewed heart that was carved into the tabletop.

"I guess she could have mentioned it, but I haven't exactly been...available as much to her as I used to be. So I guess I missed that."

Truth was that Kyla hadn't been available to anyone _but_ Kyla for a few months now. There had been the fashion blog and her appearances at exclusive parties and clubs, her relationship with Jake and if she was honest she hadn't felt like she had time for anyone or anything else. Ashley and her usual drama had been on the bottom of her list of priorities.

For the last few months everything in Kyla's life had revolved around _her_ needs and wants. Jake had seen that and used it to integrate himself into her life, had used it to in a way control her even, because he made himself an integral part of her success. She craved the limelight and he made sure she got it, she needed something to help her keep up with the lifestyle and he got her the coke. Her selfish lifestyle was nursed and encouraged by someone that exploited her in such an obvious way that even Ashley, who was easily as blind and self involved as Kyla was any day, could see it.

Now Kyla was reminded everyday of how she had lost touch with everything and everyone that was of any _real_ importance in her life. Her sister was angry enough at her to threaten to throw her out of their apartment and she was hearing relatively important things that had gone on in Ashley's life from complete strangers.

Sometimes she thought she was much more like Raife Davies than she ever thought possible, especially when it came to Ashley, because despite the fact that she loved her sister she had abandoned her just like Raife did. Add on top of that the drugs and the parties and she was really living up to the legacy Raife Davies left behind.

They were a cursed lot in the end, the Davies.

"Yeah well, in the end it couldn't have bothered her that much, because Spencer and I broke up the night Ashley found out we were dating."

Carmen couldn't help feeling a bit resentful towards both Kyla and Ashley. Ashley had talent and, if she guessed right about Spencer's feelings that night, she probably got the girl she didn't deserve in the end too. Kyla for her part had money and family that cared about her, but from what Carmen could tell from the tabloids she'd read was that the girl was squandering the money and now she knew she'd blown off her sister too.

Some people had all the ingredients for the perfect life and still ended up fucking it up, which drove Carmen up the wall, because she couldn't help feeling that if she had been given half the things they had in life she could have done okay.

With the money Kyla blew on clothes and shoe's alone, Carmen could probably have paid for college. It just didn't seem fair that all that money was in the hands of someone that wouldn't do anything but waste their life away because of it.

Fine, Kyla was trying in her own way seeing as she _was_ dishing up food at a soup kitchen, but Carmen still got the feeling it was a halfhearted attempt at best.

"Oh, well they're dating again if you wanted to know. Not that you could really call it dating, because mostly I find them in various stages of undress or in the middle of actual sex. I don't know what's got into them lately, but I mean they almost never leave the apartment! Not that I'm really complaining, 'cos they look happy, you know?"

It was true, Kyla had caught them in the middle of...whatever it is lesbians do when they do _it_, more times than was good for her mental health. No one wanted to see their sister's ass from such a revealing angle, _especially_ not before breakfast as Kyla had only two days before. At least Spencer had the decency to blush fire-engine red, unlike Ashley that usually just tells her to get out so she can get her groove on.

Kyla kinda hoped she killed the mood that time, because Ashley deserved it for using the words '_get her_ _groove on_' in her book. It was _way_ too seventies porn movie-ish in her opinion.

"Yeah, thanks for sharing that. I'm ecstatic that they're having such great sex all the time. Warms the heart and all to hear that about your ex and the girl she dumped you for."

So it was maybe not the _complete_ truth to say that Spencer left Carmen for Ashley, but Carmen figured that's what would have happened if they'd continued dating anyway. The push just happened to speed things along a bit.

"Oh God, I'm sorry! Sometimes I don't think before I talk. I mean I didn't want to rub it in your face or anything, I just thought you wanted to know about Spencer and that seemed somehow...relevant. I have no idea why now though. Hindsight, you know?"

Carmen nodded her head and gave Kyla a pained smile.

"Oh yeah, I know _all_ about hindsight. If life's a bitch, then hindsight is the dirty man whore that gave it crabs in my opinion."

Kyla smiled, not because she understood what the hell Carmen was trying to say, but because the words _bitch, man whore_ and _crabs_ made her remember a story a very drunk Ashley once told her about Madison, Aiden and a case of the crabs shared by the two.

Crabs were funny when it happened to other people, don't you think?

Especially when it happened to assholes who took you to prom only to declare his undying love for your sister and bitchy ex-cheerleaders that used to make your sister's life a living hell.

"Hmm...guess that's one way of looking at it."

Then there was finally silence between them, because honestly, how much could a rich heiress have to say to someone living on the street? Kyla figured it would be rude to mention the great pair of Manolo's she picked up the day before for only four hundred dollars like she would to one of her usual acquaintances.

"So...you catch that new Will Smith movie yet? I heard it's kinda okay."

Carmen shook her head and smiled patiently.

"Nope. Homeless, remember? Being broke kinda goes with that."

Carmen decided that her first impression was correct: Kyla Woods would never be walking away with a Nobel prize. The girl was dumb as a post, but rather attractive with the slight blush that rose to her cheeks. Not that Carmen noticed that or anything. Nuh-uh.

"Right, sorry. I guess this would be a good time to get back to work."

Kyla stood and stared down at Carmen, taking in the slight bags under her eyes and the brave, cocky smile she wore despite it.

"If you want I can tell Spencer I ran into you. Maybe get her to contact you? If you give me your nubmer...uh...or something?"

Carmen shook her head and this time could only laugh a little at Kyla's face as she cringed after her slip up. The girl was unconsciously funny, she'd give her that.

"You know what, if she wants to see me or something I hang around the park on 5th. I do portraits for tourists and stuff sometimes for a little cash and there's this bench with a pretty good view at night, so..."

Kyla figured that she'd make it her business to tell Spencer. She'd fed the girl as best she could and talked to her, though that hadn't been all that successful in the end, but she felt she needed to do more. She thought that getting Spencer to help her out, seeing as they _did_ date once, was the best she could do. Well, that and...

"Uh, here you go. I mean you should buy yourself something to eat for later, you know?"

For some reason Kyla felt uncomfortable stuffing the hundred dollar bill into Carmen's hand, but she shook it off and ignored the slight tightening she spied next to Carmen's mouth. She guessed there was no good way about giving someone money out of pity, so she tried to get it over with as soon as possible.

Carmen for her part had wanted this. She had seen the girl, took in the expensive glasses and clothes, and thought that she was owed some of that money in a way. She needed it more than Kyla did and even resented the girl for having it, yet when that crisp note hit her palm it burned her.

Carmen was proud, despite having nothing to be proud about. She enjoyed taking charity from someone about as much as she enjoyed getting punched in the stomach, but she thought that in her current situation she would be able to take it. She had slowly sat and convinced herself that she could actually score cash off Kyla, that she pretty much deserved it even and yet now the idea repulsed her somewhat. Still, if she could shop lift for God's sake, then surely she could take something that was actually given to her, right?

Turned out she couldn't, but she bit down on her lip and forced her hand closed around the bill, crinkling the paper almost violently in her fist, because she _needed_ the money. Simple need was making her swallow her pride and anger and place the note securely in her pocket.

She didn't look up to meet Kyla's eye, didn't squeeze her hand in thanks, she simply looked down onto the ground and forced out a broken 'Thank you'.

Then she turned and ran, shame burning under her skin and her chest heaving with so many conflicting emotions. Mainly though she was bothered by the fact that she knew if she got the chance to receive more money from Kyla, she would probably take it.

Kyla stood and watched as the girl disappeared into the sea of people that was always present on L.A streets, sadness bubbling up into her chest and making her angrily shake her head. She could have handled that better, could have tried making it easier for Carmen to take it, but she'd screwed it up like she has everything else lately.

She walked back to the table with the big pot of soup and watched the people lined up to receive the food. The old men and woman looked haggard and thin, pale and dirty faces with sad, weary eyes. There were young people too, some looking like they were more likely to rob you then receive food from you and some with that same desperate look she'd spied in Carmen's eyes before the girl had looked down to the ground and pocketed the money.

It broke her heart a little when she took it all in, took in the young kids that would slowly through the years turn into the weary eyed old men and woman she so pitied now.

Somehow the thought of Carmen going down that same road made her bite her lip and blink back tears. She didn't know Carmen, didn't doubt for a minute that had they met in different circumstances they probably wouldn't have even liked each other, but the girl had somehow _touched_ her.

So Kyla took a breath and went back to scooping soup into bowls, secure in the thought that as soon as she spoke to Spencer and explained Carmen's situation everything would be okay.

That assumption of course would turn out to be very wrong in the end.

- - -

**Hope you all liked, though I know it's hard to really form an opinion on a story when it's only two chapters in. Still I'd love it if you told me what you thought about it. Constructive criticism is welcome as always, but do it...you know...constructively!**


	3. Bad Moon Rising

**Right, so first off I want to thank those of you that reviewed the last chapter. I'm really getting into this story and I'm glad a couple of you seem to be enjoying it. Once again I just want to say thanks for giving a story that has very little Spashley in it as yet a chance.**

**Also Spence and Ash do make an appearance in this chapter, but I'm not sure how you all are going to react to that little scene. Just know that that isn't the tone I'm taking with regards to Spence and Ash in this story, it's just how it happened to come out in this chapter.**

**As always the disclaimer stands. I don't own, so don't sue. Rating is still PG-13 at best.**

Bad Reputation

Chapter 3: Bad Moon Rising.

By the time Kyla got home that Saturday afternoon, she was convinced of two things: First was that one should always take care of your teeth, because _no one_ looked good toothless. (The homeless more than proved that to her that afternoon.) Secondly was that she was _not_ cut out for charity work.

Her feet ached and she had burned herself not once, but twice against the stupid pot of soup. _And_ despite standing there in the hot sun for more than three or so hours surrounded by people smelling of vomit, weeks old sweat and other bodily fluids, she still wasn't filled with a feeling of accomplishment or redemption or any of the things she went in search of by helping out at a soup kitchen.

She was still Kyla Woods, still flawed and rich and in deep shit with her sister. She supposed some things were just not going to change in the course of an afternoon playing Mother Theresa. At least she tried, right?

So she sighed and rest her head against the door, praying to God or any other available deity that Ashley and Spencer weren't inside the loft having sex, or on their way towards having sex, on the couch again. Worse yet even, in the bathtub, because that's where she was heading seeing as she herself had seemed to soak up the smells surrounding her today like a sponge.

She needed to exfoliate and then wash, maybe even repeat the whole process more than once. So with that thought in mind she bravely pushed her front door open with her eyes tightly shut.

"Okay, if there are any naked people around, now would be a really great time to get dressed. Oh and if you _are_ dressed, please remove hands from underneath shirts and skirts."

She figured it would be better to specify that, seeing as Ashley had no qualms about pawing poor (clothed)Spencer in the privacy of her own home. Despite the fact that she _shared_ that home with someone, someone who really didn't need to see stuff like that.

So there she stood, eyes still tightly shut and listening intently for the sounds of giggles and/or clothes being hastily thrown on. When she was met with nothing but silence she finally opened her eyes and gave another sigh, this time in relief. The place was all hers, at least for another while yet. So she made a beeline for the bathroom, already visualizing the bubbles and steam that would surround her in no more than a few minutes, washing away all traces of homeless person off her. Next time she was just going to donate money or something, because getting your hands dirty had turned out to be a very literal idiom for her today.

When her naked body finally submerged into the hot, scented bathwater, Kyla closed her eyes and almost cried it was so good. Her tense back muscles relaxed, her poor feet started to tingle pleasantly and her mouth curved into a contented smile. She would be clean and smelling of roses in no time, no more reeking like a homeless person.

Five seconds later her eyes flew open and she frowned, the image of those people and their varying stages of degradation sitting heavily on her again. Guilt washed over her and she flushed, her body responding more to that emotion than to the heat of the water.

Those people didn't choose to live like that, didn't wake up one morning and think to themselves how awesome it would be to sleep on park benches and eat out of trashcans, smelling like something that a dog puked up. Life had just fucked most of them over, like it had somehow blessed her by giving her an inheritance that meant she would never have to work a day in her life.

She dunked herself under the water then, actually hoping she'd accidentally just drown herself or something, because God knew she deserved it for being such a grade-A asshole. She really came out of the whole experience with nothing more than the thought that she wanted to wash the smell of the homeless off of her body...

The people, the tabloids and even Ashley were right about her. She was a spoiled little rich girl that had the depth of a puddle of dog pee. Had she really forgotten the desperation she had seen in some of their faces? The sadness that filled so many eyes and the deep grooves around mouths that had no reason to smile anymore?

Had she forgotten that most of those toothless mouths had thanked her honestly and sweetly for the food she scooped into their bowls? Most importantly, had she already forgotten Carmen?

She hadn't of course, but she had been trying her hardest to do just that, because Carmen and everything else she had experienced had been a shock to her system. It had been a lot to take in, a lot to process about herself and the world she chose to live in. So she had done the weak thing, the cowardly thing and tried to just bury it all away. Tried to pretend it hadn't touched her and troubled her in equal parts. Tried to make it out as a bad experience that was just a waste of time.

It was a sucky self preservation thing or something, she wasn't sure, but she knew she couldn't pretend forever. So she sat up and took a gulp of air, her burning lungs eager for relief, and wiped the water out of her eyes. At least she had realized what she was doing and that was a step in the right direction, just like volunteering at the soup kitchen had been.

She couldn't change over night, she needed to take baby steps after all and setbacks like these were to be expected. She was still a shit for thinking all the things she had thought, but she was sure she'd get over that eventually.

So she went about her business, washing hair and scrubbing skin, drying and then wrapping herself in her robe. When she stepped out of the bathroom she finally heard voices and she followed the sound, spotting Ashley and Spencer in the kitchen. Luckily this time there was no body chocolate involved and they were both mercifully dressed. Well, not that the short skirt or torn tee that Ash wore left anything to the imagination, but it covered at least the important bits Kyla thought.

"Hey guys."

Kyla was still walking on eggshells around Ashley, still painfully aware that her sister blamed her for the demise of her music career before it even had the chance to really take off. Granted it wasn't completely her fault, but she understood why Ashley felt the way she did, so she wasn't offended when Ashley rolled her eyes at the sight of her.

"Oh great, little Miss Career Wrecker is here! Finally decided to get up out of bed and grace the world with your hungover presence?"

Okay, so Ashley was a little bit more than just pissed about the whole thing, more like insanely angry and bitter about everything. Kyla guessed that's what she'd be feeling too if her dream had been snatched away from her. Though that would mean she actually had dreams, or at least some ambition to become something other than a very fashionable layabout.

She figured she'd have to put that on her list of things to work on too. It was starting to look like an awfully long list these days...

"Come on, Ash. Don't be like that, it wasn't her fault...entirely."

Kyla gave Spencer a smile, because the girl at least tried to make things better when she could between the two sisters. It didn't always work, but at least she stopped Ashley from throwing Kyla out and that counted for a lot in her book. It was why she was sure that talking to Spencer about Carmen's situation was the best thing she could do to help the girl.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go to my room, Spence, there's something I want to show you."

Kyla knew that there was nothing that Ashley wanted to show Spencer in her room, except maybe her boobs or something, and that her sister just wanted to get away from her.

It hurt, it really did, that her sister could barely stand to be in the same room as her, but right that second she had more important things to do.

"Uhm...Spence? I was actually wanting to talk to you if you didn't mind."

Ashley pulled a face, making her puppy eyes, or rather her let's-have-sex eyes, at Spencer, but the blond ignored her and gave Kyla a smile.

"Sure, Kyla, what's up?"

Kyla pretended to not notice Ashley's hand sneak under the table to do God knew what to Spencer and walked to the fridge. Once she had her water open she took a sip and settled a hip against the counter, facing a slightly red faced Spencer and a grinning Ashley. She _really_ didn't want to know what that hand was doing under the table right about then.

"Yeah, so I ran into Carmen today..."

She didn't get any further than that, because Spencer actually jumped in her seat as if a fire cracker had just unexpectedly exploded right next to her and Ashley seemed to pull her hand away at the same time, banging her knuckles loudly against the table top by accident.

It was safe to say Kyla was a little bit surprised by the reaction.

"Carmen? Like the skanky, dog faced ho that dated Spence for a while?"

Spencer bit her lip and laid her hand over the back of Ashley's, her hand gently rubbing over the red, accidentally abused knuckles, seemingly trying to soothe her hotheaded girlfriend. Kyla just frowned, because she wouldn't say Carmen was dog faced...or a ho for that matter. She was actually pretty sexy in an off-beat kinda way, though Kyla fortunately realized that actually saying that out loud would be a mistake.

"Uh..yeah, _that_ Carmen. I was actually wondering if Spencer wouldn't mind maybe getting together with her and talki..."

Once again she was cut off by Ashley. A red faced, scowling Ashley who was obviously not very happy with her statement.

"Wait a minute here. You want _my_ girlfriend to go have a little chat with her ex? What the hell's up with that?!"

Kyla fought hard not to roll her eyes, because she would have gotten to the why part if Ashley hadn't interrupted her in the first place. Sometimes this trying to make things right with her sister thing was damn hard work.

"Yeah, I'm trying to get to that. See Carmen's going through a rough patch right now and really needs someone and I just thought that Spencer could help her out." Kyla turned to Spencer and gave the girl an uncomfortable smile. "I just figured that you'd dated and stuff, so you obviously...uh...liked the girl, so I thought you'd want to help out. I told her I'd tell you how to get in contact with her..."

Kyla trailed off when Spencer pursed her lips together and frowned, her eyes falling to the floor as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Look, I know how this sounds, but I'm really not interested in involving Carmen in my life again. Some stuff happened between us and I'm just not ready to forgive and forget right now. I'm sorry."

Kyla could hardly believe that Spencer was telling her this. Spencer couldn't forgive Carmen for something that happened in their relationship, but she could hang out and make nice with Aiden? Aiden who proclaimed undying love to Ashley in front of Spencer, who proceeded to bed Ashley for weeks after their official break-up probably knowing full well that Spence and Ash were still very much in love?

She could forgive that asshole, but not Carmen?

Kyla was still sitting there with her confused frown when Ashley abruptly stood up.

"You know what, Kyla, this is a shitty thing you're trying to do here! Spence and I are just getting to be okay again, now you want to drag her ex-girlfriend into the mix? Do you really think we need that? I mean first you fuck over my career and now you're shooting for my relationship too? God, Kyla!"

Kyla didn't get a chance to tell her how unfair that statement was, because Ashley stormed out the kitchen and headed for her room. Kyla sighed and looked to Spencer again, really hoping the girl would let her explain things to her.

"Look, Kyla, she doesn't mean that and you know it. She's just still...it's going to take time is all. All I'm asking is to let this Carmen thing go, because it's just going to make her angrier. I'll go make sure she calms down, okay?"

Then Spencer followed Ashley to her bedroom and Kyla was left alone in the kitchen, condensation from her water bottle dripping onto her hand and startling her from her dazed and confused state.

She really hadn't seen all that coming. And what the hell was she supposed to do now?!

- - - - - - - - -

Carmen had taken an hour or so, just sitting on her park bench and watching kids and dogs run past, to think about what to buy with the hundred dollar bill burning a hole in her back pocket. The easy answer was food, but food spoiled easily or needed to be heated up and stuff, so that was out for the most part. Clothes weren't a bad idea, because though the days in L.A were almost always nice and warm, on occasion the nights got chilly and then a t-shirt just didn't cut it.

So clothes, or at least a blanket and pillow, made her list seeing as most of her warm stuff had been stolen within her first week on the streets. She'd smartened up since then, but had paid a heavy price for her initial stupidity on some cool nights since then.

Next on the list had been disinfectant spray, 'cos if you've seen the inside of any public bathroom, you'd know that was a necessity. Also soap, toothpaste and tampons made the list. You never really appreciated things as simple as soap, toothpaste and tampons until you didn't have them, Carmen had come to find out.

So her list kept growing until she realized that she probably wouldn't have enough money for half the things she'd added to her mental list. The most important would be bought first and then she'd see how much she'd have left over for 'luxuries'.

In the end she'd scored a very nice sleeping bag from a store selling discounted camping stuff and a random hoodie or two from a thrift store. Toiletries had come next and she was happy with the stash she had, but bothered by where she'd hide her loot. It ended up in the bottom of her sleeping bag, a toothpaste periodically poking the soft underside of her socked foot as she lay clutching her bag to her chest. She was cocooned in her sleeping bag with every single thing of worth zipped up with her.

Of course the downside of that was that if anyone ever came around and bothered her, which was a very realistic danger seeing as she was young and pretty and who would really care if some guy raped her, she would have a hell of a time trying to get herself out of her sleeping bag and safe. That was the first thought that sprang to her mind when she felt a hand on her.

She'd been asleep, seeing as it was well past eleven at night and her bench was on the 'quiet' side of the park, and so being as groggy as she was didn't think too clearly. Her hand found the small knife she carried, given to her by a sweetly worried Martie, and she bravely wiggled an arm out of the sleeping bag. She waved it around for effect, hoping she could nick the attacker as an added bonus.

"I'll _cut_ you!"

Her voice came out husky and panicked and her words were followed by a rather loud thud as she rolled off the bench, her immobile body hitting the ground hard. For a second or two she thought she might have ended up stabbing herself, but she quickly found that the wet feeling against her chest was just a packet of liquid soap that she'd squashed.

"Cut me? Why the hell would you cut me? I mean I _know_ you were offended by the money, but that's a little extreme..."

Carmen rolled off her face and onto her back, squashing another packet of something against her back and frowned at the moonlit figure above her.

"Kyla?!"

The girl nodded and she could see in the dark the rolling of eyes she knew were a pretty brown.

"Yeah, who'd you expect? Jack the Ripper?"

For a second or two Carmen seriously thought about stabbing the girl in the foot for giving her such a fright, but she figured that would be counter productive to the whole turning over a new leaf thing. So she simply sighed and wiggled herself into a sitting position, eventually unzipping herself and ungracefully fumbling out of her sleeping bag. She finally sat down on the bench she'd previously been sleeping on and looked at Kyla again.

"Kyla, what are you doing here?"

Her voice was quiet, even a little embarrassed that the girl had found her asleep on a park bench, but that was the reality of her life in the end. She _was_ a bum after all.

"The best pet I ever had growing up, the one I loved the most, was a stray that I found in the street. I didn't go walking down the road that day thinking to myself that I was going to go out and find myself a dog, it just happened by chance."

Carmen frowned, completely lost and with the vague suspicion that she should somehow feel offended. Was she being compared to a stay dog here or...well, she wasn't sure what the hell Kyla was trying to get at.

"I don't think I'm following you."

Kyla nodded her head a little and sat down next to Carmen, close enough that Carmen could feel the heat coming off her body and the smell of her shampoo. When Kyla turned towards her, she sat still and observed the girl's face in the silvery moonlight.

Kyla Woods was actually a very beautiful girl.

"What I'm trying to say here is that sometimes life sends something or someone across your path and maybe it's something you weren't expecting or even looking for, but it's something that you really need in your life. It's something unexpected that could make you very happy if you're smart enough to see it."

Carmen surprisingly understood and with a smile let go of the little offensive she felt at first, what with the 'stray dog' comments and all. She finally figured that maybe what came out of Kyla's mouth wasn't always the most sensitive or smartest things, but it was mostly well meant.

"Still doesn't tell me what you're doing here, Kyla."

She gave her a soft smile, trying to show her that she wasn't being sarcastic or anything, but it stilled on her face when Kyla reached forward and brushed a few fingers down her face. The softly intimate contact made her bite her lip, because it was a sad and true fact that very few people had ever touched Carmen in that way before.

Besides her short stint with Spencer and a few other girlfriends, she was mostly used to being shoved around rather than getting soft caresses. When her questioning eyes finally met Kyla's, the girl gave her a rather shy smile and pointed to her cheek.

"Sorry, you had a little dirt there..." Then she seemed to straighten her shoulders and faced Carmen completely. "What I'm doing here, Carmen, is...well...I need a friend and you need a friends so...Come home with me?"

The question was spoken softly, unsurely and it somehow made Carmen want to cry. They were about as different in her eyes as two people could be, yet here was one thing that they both seemed to be.

Alone.

For all of Kyla's wealth and celebrity, for all the friends she was once photographed with at clubs and events and the half sister she lived with, she was lonely.

Carmen knew what loneliness felt like, how you could be surrounded by people or family and still just feel so very much alone. She knew how incredibly shitty it felt when you finally realized that you had no one, no real friends around and parents that couldn't give a crap. She was surprised how sad it made her feel to see that Kyla was at that particular point in her life as well.

So she took a breath and looked up at the full moon above them, her hand shakily finding Kyla's on the bench next to her.

"Yeah, I'll go home with you."

Kyla gratefully squeezed her hand and held it all the way back to her car.

- - -

**Okay, hope you enjoyed that. If you did, I would really appreciate some feedback and if you didn't, the same still applies. If somethings wrong I won't know unless you tell me, right?**

**So I'll go sit quietly in my corner and wait for judgment to be handed down. Yay or Nay on this chapter, folks?**


	4. Splish splash, I was takin' a bath

**Right, once again sorry for the delay in updating, but life gets a little crazy sometimes, you know?**

**Once again I wanted to thank everyone who commented on the previous chapters. It's pretty great of you to keep on supporting this story, because I know most folks around here are pretty much strictly Spashley lovers. So yeah, I do appreciate you giving this a chance:)**

**Also this chapter turned out a bit silly, but I couldn't help it. I'm never going to be a strictly serious writer, so I hope you all don't mind too much...**

**(_Oh and _**Eaglesenior**_, I feel like crap for saying this, but SY: The Reunion really is dead for the foreseeable future. I'm sorry, I know I really suck for dropping that story, especially with the way I left the original one. Just, yeah, I'm really sorry.)_**

Bad Reputation

Chapter 4: Splish splash, I was takin' a bath!

Buyer's remorse was pretty much a bitch in some cases.

Everyone's gone and bought something on impulse, whether it be those leather pants that you really knew weren't going to fit or the painting that you thought was of a tree but turned out to be an abstract of a dog, something that seemed a great idea at first and then turned out to be exactly the opposite. Thing was, most of those things could be returned within seven days for cash or goods.

How does one go about returning a person?

The question stumped Kyla completely. She didn't so much regret inviting Carmen home with her as she dreaded her sister's reaction to the whole thing. Which would explain why they were sitting outside of her apartment building for the last twelve minutes in relative quiet. Kyla needed to think, needed to plan and prepare, and somehow figure a way out of World War Three erupting in her loft. Ashley was going to kill her, she knew this as fact and as far as she could see, there was no way out of it.

She'd asked the girl next to her to come home with her, to trust her, and she wasn't about to back out now. Even if there was a way of 'returning' her, she wouldn't do it. Carmen would stay, even if Kyla had to loose a limb to a crazed, furious sister in the process.

"This was a bad idea."

Carmen's voice held a hint of humor in it, a low rumble of a laugh in her chest following the words and filling up the quiet space inside the car.

"Probably."

Kyla bit her lip and gave the girl a half smile, her single uttered word holding no sting whatsoever. Carmen was right, it _was_ a bad idea, but Kyla's made worse in her past and she was still standing. One more wouldn't kill her, _probably_...

She just couldn't bare the thought of Carmen out there in the world, cold and hungry. She'd spent the better part of the day trying to think of a way to help the girl after Spencer dashed her hopes, but nothing she came up with felt right. She couldn't go to child protective services, something telling her instinctively that Carmen would rather sleep in pile of crap each night than going that route, and nothing short of going to Spencer and begging her to listen and be reasonable made any kind of sense. She'd actually tried to do that, but before she got a word past her nervous lips, Ashley had strolled into the room and given her a dirty look before dragging Spencer with her out the door.

Kyla had been left alone with nothing but a great sense of disappointment and worry. By then it had been dark out, foggy skies hiding stars from her blank gaze as she stood by the large windows, her mind restlessly replaying her short chat with Carmen.

She could have gone out, could have gone to a dealer and found freedom in a few lines of coke in some club and danced the night away. She could have picked up a pretty boy with strong arms and willing lips and she could have forgotten the way Carmen had whispered her 'Thank you' before disappearing into a L.A crowd.

She could have pretended for a night that nothing in her life, nothing in this world, was wrong or broken. Thing was that in the morning everything would be clear again and she'd be faced with all the things she hated about herself again. Only difference would be the naked boy she'd have to throw out of the loft and the hangover that would cause a migraine or something. So she'd stood by that window and chewed on her bottom lip until it was tender and red, the sting finally shaking her out of her depressed daze.

She'd done the only thing her conscious would allow her to do then, got into her car and drove to the park over on 5th.

"You don't really have to do this, you know? I mean...this might have been a slightly insane idea."

Carmen didn't just think it was a insane idea, she _knew_ it was. On the park bench, with moonlight and quiet all around them, she'd forgotten that fairy tales didn't happen in real life. She'd sat there and somehow convinced herself that going home with a complete stranger was a good idea. That it wasn't going to come back and bite her in the ass somehow. Yet in the short ride over to the large apartment building rational thought had finally seeped back in.

There was no way in hell that this was going to end well, not while there was an Ashley Davies in the picture.

Carmen had only met the girl once, but she was pretty sure the chick was maybe a little bit crazy. She'd seemed like a grade A bitch the night at the club, talking about Carmen like she was something you scraped off the bottom of your shoe and Carmen was pretty sure that the girls animosity towards her hasn't faded a bit.

_Especially_ if Spencer had told her about the shove.

Carmen knew that if that was the case, she'd be dead the minute she put her foot across that threshold. She'd seen enough in the girls eyes to know that if you hurt Spencer, she'd end you. It had been a part of why Carmen had reacted so badly that night after the club.

She'd seen first hand what still lay so obviously between Spencer and Ashley. The sense of possession on Ashley's side, Spencer's vigorous defense of the girl, everything had crept up on Carmen so unexpectedly that she'd over reacted completely. Spencer had been the first good thing to happen to her in forever and suddenly there was Ashley threatening all of that.

She'd felt a fool, but more than that she'd felt hopeless and hurt. She'd been nothing more to Spencer than a distraction, something to pass the time with until Ashley pulled her act together. In short, Spencer had treated Carmen like everyone else in her life had so far.

Carmen had never really mattered to anyone. Not to her father when he worked life's frustrations out on her too small body with his fists and not to her mother that had five other mouths to feed. She'd never been anything other than a nuisance, until Spencer Carlin had made her think other wise for a very short while.

Still didn't change or excuse the fact that she reacted to the situation in the worst possible way she could have.

Carmen sighed and drew a hand through her hair, grimacing at the stringy feel of it. Maybe she could just catch a shower and be on her way again, she could live with that. It wasn't like she deserved more in the end.

"Insane...well, yeah it is, but I'm committed now, so..."

With that Kyla finally opened her door and got out of the car, taking large gulps of air as she slammed the door shut. She wasn't sure how things would go, but she was through sitting there and scaring the crap out of herself with all the scenarios she came up with.

It's not like they even owned a chain saw, so it was highly unlikely that Ashley would cut her into pieces with one. Though there might be a blunt knife laying around...

She stopped dead at the thought, but when a hand gently lay itself against her lower back and slightly nervous blue eyes gazed into her own, she smiled reassuringly.

"Come on, let's get inside. The sooner we get this over with, the better."

With some trepidation the two girls walked into the building, enduring a rather tense ride up the elevator and both walking towards the loft's door with the speed of Kyla's Grandma Woods, who had a walker and usually had to rest for half a minute after every four steps she took.

By the time they stood facing the door, both were twitchy and worried.

"We can do this, I mean Ashley's not _that_ scary. Sure she once tried to physically rip Madison a new one, but Madison's not that big! And okay, she could shout loud enough to burst an ear drum, but I'm pretty sure I've gotten use to that..."

Carmen's eyebrows shot up at the information while Kyla bit her lip once again. So maybe Ashley was a bit like a forceful tornado that could wipe out a small town, but Kyla wasn't a wimp either. It was just that after finding Buddha and all, she was more a lover than a fighter...or at least that's what she told herself.

Before she could chicken out, Kyla put her key in the lock and turned, swinging the door open with determined force. She flinched slightly when the door loudly hit the wall, announcing their presence to not only whoever was in the apartment, but everyone on their floor. Regardless, she stepped forward and bravely started her speech.

"Okay, so I know you're already pretty damn pissed at me, but I tried to talk to both you and Spencer about this, but you cut me off so really there was nothing else I cou...Uh...hello? Anyone home?"

Kyla came to a halt in the middle of the room, her brows drawing together in confusion as she looked around. There were no suspicious grunting noises to be heard, no trail of clothes leading to Ashley's room, nothing at all but the quiet of the night.

It was rather disappointing to find that after psyching herself up for probably the biggest fight she and Ashley would have to date, there was no one even home.

"Well, this is rather...what's the word I'm looking for here?"

She turned to a similarly frowning Carmen and snapped her fingers, trying to jog her own memory.

"Anti-climatic? Disappointing? A bit of a let down? Those all seem rather appropriate."

Kyla nodded her head.

"Right, anti-climatic. Almost like the first time I had sex...uh...I have no idea where that came from!"

Carmen's eyebrows shot up once again and she wondered if the stress of having her around was just a little too much for the clearly screwy Kyla to handle.

"Look, maybe this was for the best. If I leave now your sister will never even know I was here to begin with, so no harm, no foul, right?"

She took a disappointed step towards the door, but Kyla was quick to walk over and grab her wrist, her palm warm against Carmen's skin. The girl halted, the touch once again affecting her in a similar way as the feel of Kyla's fingers against her cheek did in the park. She stood quietly for a while, trying in earnest to remember the last time someone had touched her period.

After she and Spencer broke up, there hadn't been anyone else and shortly after that, she'd been pretty much homeless when her only friend in L.A upped and moved to San Francisco, leaving her with no place to stay. Kyla was most probably the first person in a good three months to lay a hand on her.

The thought almost made Carmen want to cry. At least when she'd been staying with her mom, there had been brothers and sisters who would casually throw an arm around her or something, even a little niece that had a thing about hugging anyone in her immediate vicinity every five minutes.

She had no idea one could miss simple human contact so much up until Kyla had touched her.

"Just stay, okay? I don't want you on some park bench somewhere just 'cos it would make my life a little easier. I'm done being that kind of girl, the one that takes the easy way out, so you're stuck with me and you're stuck in this loft until we can work something else out!"

Her words were followed by a foot thumped loudly against the floor and Carmen had the irrational urge to laugh. Here was Kyla Woods, millionaire heiress and disgraced socialite, trying to save her. _Her_, Carmen Garcia, sleeper of benches and possible future physical abuser. She would laugh, would give into her irrational urge, but the whole situation was just too screwed up for that.

She didn't deserve this savior, this angel with the slightly broken wings. Yet she knew that she was going to once again take what the girl was offering.

"Okay, fine, I'll stay, but if this blows up in our faces and your sister kills us, I'm dragging you all the way down to hell with me."

Kyla nodded her head and shivered a bit as she once again imagined Ashley coming at her with a chain saw.

"Just make sure you don't drop any of my pieces..."

Carmen thought about asking what the hell she meant, but in the end there was another more pressing matter at hand.

"Okay, seeing as we're doing this, where's your bathroom?"

Kyla frowned at the sudden change of topic, but shook it off and lead Carmen to the bathroom. Then it was Kyla's turn to battle against the urge to giggle when Carmen's eyes lit up like a Christmas tree and she actually whimpered. Her hands went to her chest and covered her heart, an actual goofy smile blooming on her lips as she turned to Kyla.

"I'm in love with that tub, it's beautiful, wonderful, great in that needs-to-have-my-babies kinda way!"

Then she was bending over, hands almost shivering with giddiness as she turned both the taps on full blast, water splashing up and wetting her shirt, but she was too far gone to notice. Her focus was single minded, absolutely locked onto getting naked and getting clean in what has to be the biggest, most luxurious tub she'd ever laid eyes on.

She was pretty sure that if Sophia Bush fell out of the heavens and gave her the choice of hot lesbian sex with her or taking a bath in that tub, the tub would win. It would be by a very small margin, but it would still win.

Unless Sophia Bush fell out of the heavens naked, 'cos then it would be just a _whole_ different ballgame.

So with a little shimmy, her own private butt wiggle of victory and joy, she started stripping off her shirt and stepping out of her sneakers at the same time. Steam was already rising from the water, it's heat slipping over her skin and igniting her senses, the sensation causing a little moan of pleasure.

When she spotted the berry scented bubble bath, she actually gave a girlie squeal before pouncing on it, pouring a generous amount into the water and watching with glee as bubbles immediately started to form. She would soak until she was pruney, then she would scrub till she was pink as a new born baby and if there was a God, Kyla would have a razor she could use to get rid of the forest that had grown on her legs.

Everything else, every worry about tomorrow and Ashley and Spencer could wait, because Carmen was going to get _clean_. Clean like she couldn't remember being in weeks, months even! She would take and put to good use this small reprieve that life has granted her and not let anything spoil it.

So without thinking she turned back to a gaping Kyla, quite oblivious to the fact that she was down to just her low slung jeans, socks and red polka dot bra. It was quite the sight really.

"Please tell me you've got a razor for me...ooooh, and shampoo! And one of those squishy, puffy body scrub thingies? Actually, anything will do right about now as long as it'll get me _clean_."

Kyla was still stuck on the part where Carmen was standing in just her jeans and bra, noting with some sadness that she could almost clearly make out every one of Carmen's ribs, the way her stomach was flat, almost hollow and the general unhealthy pallor of her skin. She was still not stick thin, but she was well on her way there.

Yet despite that, she was standing there with a smile bright enough to light up the city, her intensely blue eyes slanted with the strain of keeping her obvious joy inside. She was completely oblivious to the sad picture her body painted and Kyla didn't have the heart to point it out, so she just returned the smile and blinked away the sting in her eyes.

Yes, having Carmen around would completely be worth the fight it would ultimately cause between herself and Ashley. Her heart told her it would be.

"Sure, I'll get you everything you need. Just give me a minute."

Carmen just nodded and returned to staring at the water like it was the second coming of Christ, patiently waiting for the tub to fill. Kyla for her part opened a few cupboards and collected everything she could think Carmen would need, finally even running to her room and finding the girl a pair of pajama bottoms and a clean tank top.

When she returned to the bathroom, all that was visible of Carmen was her face and even that was slightly obscured by the huge amount of bubbles surrounding her as she lay submerged in the water. Kyla put the clothes down and quietly made her way out the bathroom, not wanting to interrupt what was obviously an almost religious experience in the making.

She didn't think she could think of bathing in quite the same way ever again.

Forty five minutes later, Kyla was debating checking on Carmen, just to make sure she hadn't drowned in the tub or something, but it was soon apparent that her fears where a little premature.The girl stepped out of the bathroom, hair wet and smile still plastered onto her face. She was glowing a little, her skin visibly pinked and her cheeks red from the heat in the bathroom. Most importantly though was that she looked happy.

Kyla couldn't help cracking a smile of her own at the sight. The smile kinda dropped when Carmen walked right up to her, body only inches apart so that she could feel the heat radiate off her.

"Take a whiff, come on, smell the wonder that is body wash and shampoo!"

Kyla, still a little disconcerted by the lack of space between them, leaned in and gave a few delicate sniffs to the exposed skin of Carmen's neck, looking almost like a little kitten before she attacks her saucer of milk. Carmen thought it was kinda cute, but didn't let the thought linger too long.

Kyla found herself closing her eyes and just breathing everything in, the mixture of something fruity invading her senses as she tried to separate what was her rose scented shampoo, mixed berry body wash and what had to inevitable be Carmen herself. The girl smelled rather delicious.

With a smile she pulled back, putting a little more space between them before nodding thoughtfully.

"Hmm...you smell so much better. Not that you like stank before, but this is...uh...better?"

Kyla had the urge to stick her own head in the toilet bowl and flush, but Carmen's loud laughter interrupted that plan.

"Oh God, that mouth of yours should come with a warning label. Or maybe a user's manual, I'm not sure. Anyway, before I hurt myself laughing here, what's the sleeping arrangements looking like?"

Kyla frowned as it dawned on her that they didn't have a guest room and she was pretty sure that if Ashley, with or without Spencer, came home late only to find Carmen Garcia asleep on their sofa, there would be hell to pay. That didn't leave very many options in the end.

"Well, I guess you're rooming with me until we've talked to Ashley. So..."

Kyla made a small fluttering gesture towards her room and Carmen just shrugged. She was used to sharing her space, not so much these days, but she'd always shared a bed with her older sister. With six people in a rather small apartment you had to share whether you liked it or not.

"Lead the way then."

So it was that Carmen found herself staring at Kyla's white painted sealing twenty minutes later. She was tired, her body lazy from the time she spent lounging in the warm bath, but she was unable to sleep. She was just so unused to the feeling of the soft, yet somehow still firm mattress beneath her, of the way Kyla's violet colored sheets felt silky and cool against the slightly exposed skin of her back. All in all, she was a little scared that if she fell asleep she'd eventually wake up to realize it was all just a dream.

It was a cliché, she knew that, but it was a valid fear, because things like these didn't ever happen in real life and especially not to her.

Still, it was hard not to believe the reality of the situation when Kyla started to make these little mewling noises every so often, once again reminding Carmen of small little kitten, especially when the girl curled into a little ball next to her.

So with a sigh she closed her eyes, let her tired muscles finally relax into the soft warmth of the bed and smiled.

"G'night, Kitten."

Kyla gave another little mewling sound in answer and soon after, Carmen finally drifted off to sleep. For the first time in three months, the image off Spencer hitting the wall later followed by Carmen's father and his large fist in her own gut didn't invade her sleep, didn't make her toss and turn or murmur in distress. It was just blissful, dreamless sleep.

Only the moon that shone in through Kyla's bedroom window would know that Carmen had started to murmur, the familiar dream starting, but she'd stilled the minute a slim arm had comfortingly crept around her waist and pulled her close against a warm, pliant body.

- - -

**Okay, as always I hope you enjoyed that, other wise that was pretty much a waste of five hours for me;)**

**Comments are really appreciated and as a side note, I was wondering if you all would do me a favor. I put up one of those poll thingy's on my profile and would really appreciate it if you'd take a minute to vote on it. Yes, I know it's pretty lame and all, but I'm curious as to what you all think.**

**So thanks for reading and remember I don't mind constructive criticism (but I do tend to like the positive feedback better!).**


	5. Sunday Bloody Sunday

**You have no idea how this chapter hurt my head to write. I have no idea why it was so difficult, 'cos I have most everything planned out nice and neat now, but it was just being especially difficult. Go figure!**

**As always I wanted to thank the folks who's still sticking it out with me and this story. I know the pairing is a bit of an acquired taste and that updates have been sporadic at best, but I can promise that I will keep chugging along with it for the people still interested. Hell, I even threw in more SPASHLEY this time!**

Bad Reputation

Chapter : Sunday Bloody Sunday 

It was the realization that something was tickling her nose and she needed to pee rather desperately that eventually woke Kyla up the next morning.

For a minute or two she refused to open her eyes, refused to acknowledge her aching bladder and simply wiggled her nose in an attempt to get rid of whatever was causing the tickle. Eventually though she became more aware of her surroundings, of the warmth that she found herself pressed against and the sound of even breathing next to her.

She blinked her eyes open then, confused for a second or two to find herself sprawled half over another body and her face buried against the sweet smelling skin of a smooth neck, fine dark hairs occasionally tickling her nose as she breathed in and out. Another half second later she finally came fully awake and realized she was heavily pinning Carmen Garcia to her bed.

She rolled off the girl then, quickly checking to make sure she hadn't gone and accidentally drooled all over Carmen during the night and sighing in relief when she didn't spot any embarrassing wet spots. Kyla knew she wasn't a very dignified sleeper, she had the tendency to hog blankets and kick on occasion too, so simply using her bed mate as a full body pillow was a relief more than anything else.

She'd once awoken to Jake yelping like a kicked puppy, cupping his balls in his hand as he lay curled in a tiny little ball. Apparently she'd kneed him in her sleep. Thinking about it now she couldn't help wondering if that was her subconscious trying to tell her something...

She was still lying there going over the memory when she felt the bed dip slightly and then her eyebrows shot to her hairline when a warm, smooth palm met the skin of her exposed stomach at the same time that Carmen snuggled against her, pillowing her head softly on Kyla's right breast and shoulder.

Kyla stilled completely, no breathing or blinking as fingertips whispered gently over her stomach muscles, caressing, making the faint hair on Kyla's arms rise as a chill of sorts spread through her entire body. Mercifully the movement stopped almost as soon as it started and the touch, once gentle and ghostlike, turned jerky. A hesitant pat or two later and she felt Carmen pull herself away with lighting speed, apparently fully awake now and aware of what she had been doing.

"Uh...right, sorry. Didn't mean to..."

Carmen trailed off there, wiggling a single digit towards Kyla's semi exposed stomach in explanation before leaning forward again and tugging Kyla's shirt down. She sat up then, rubbing her hands against her eyes and letting out a soft sigh.

Carmen couldn't help thinking that it would figure that she'd end up almost accidentally molesting the first person in months that was kind to her and therefore getting her ass kicked out of the apartment. But she had been half asleep and her body had acted on autopilot when she rolled over and sought the warmth that had been there only minutes before.

She completely ignored the fact that her fingertips were tingling, that warm, pulsing sensation had shot up her arm and set her synapses alight and that her hand twitched to experience the thrilling touch again. In the back of her mind she placated herself by once again reminding herself that it had simply been months since she touched someone, much less in such an intimate way and that's why her body had reacted in such an _interesting_ way.

It never even dawned on her that if she really thought about it, _no one's_ touch had ever made her react in quite the same way.

"It's no problem, really, I'm pretty sure if you checked the mirror there'd be an impression of me on your back. I pretty much used you as a pillow for the night, so sorry if breathing was an issue."

Kyla gave her a half smile and then pushed herself up into a sitting position, mirroring Carmen's previous action and rubbing at her eyes. She yawned, a squeaky noise accompanying it and then stretched out lazily.

"Ugh, I hate mornings, they're so...inconveniently early, don't you think?"

Carmen couldn't argue that point, so she ended up simply nodding her head. She felt pretty damn good this morning, her muscles rested and relaxed after spending the night on something other than an uncomfortable bench or cot in a shelter. She lay quietly, simply enjoying the lazy Sunday morning light shining in through the window and the dim sounds of traffic below them.

Kyla for her part had a more pressing matter to deal with and finally threw the covers off her, making a beeline for the bathroom. If she didn't empty her bladder in the next minute or two, she was going to explode.

"I'll be back. Bathroom."

The words were spoken over her shoulder to Carmen, her attention on the girl casually spread out on her bed and not in front of her. That turned out to be a rather catastrophic mistake.

She smacked into something solid, not a wall, because she doubted walls could shout out obscenities, and went sprawling on the floor. A foot was jambed uncomfortably into her ribs and her cheek throbbed painfully where it had met the ground, taking the brunt of her fall. She lay there breathing hard for a second and thanked God in relief that her bladder hadn't emptied itself on impact.

"Fucking ouch, Kyla!"

Kyla turned her head and stared at Ashley, her sister leaning up on one elbow as she tentatively rubbed at the back of her head, scowling. Her own temper flared then and forgotten was her guilt induced, meek attitude towards Ashley. She was hurt and pissed.

"Fucking ouch, my ass! Couldn't you see me coming? God."

Kyla fingered her tender cheek and mirrored her sister's scowl, sucking in a breath at the stab of pain the action produced.

"I was distracted by my hot, naked girlfriend in my bed, okay? What's your excuse?"

As Ashley sat and continued to gingerly finger the bump on her head, Kyla sat and wondered how she was supposed to answer that. She couldn't exactly say she was distracted by the image of her new friend laying so comfortably on her bed. That for a split second she had noticed the way the sunlight cast Carmen's figure in a soft silhouette, how it accentuated the peaceful expression on her face, the quiet moment captured forever in her minds eye like a painting on canvas.

She was saved from answering when Spencer came padding out of Ashley's room, wrapped in a bed sheet with hair a mess and eyes still bleary with sleep. She was glowing happily like she always did when she spent the night with Ashley and Kyla simply shook her head in amusement when Ashley's eyes glazed over a little at the sight of her half naked girlfriend.

They were so stupid, crazy in love it was sickening.

"What's going on in here? It sounded like someone let a bull loose in a china shop...or Glen in any enclosed space really. He's so noisy in the morning..."

Spencer was obviously still half asleep, her voice trailing off as she hid a yawn behind her hand and then gave them a goofy smile. Seconds later the goofy smile dropped from her face and she was staring rather incredulously at something behind Kyla. The feeling of phantom ice sliding down her back told Kyla exactly what was happening.

When she turned her suspicions were confirmed when Carmen kneeled beside her, blue eyes locking nervously with her own. A hand, resolutely _not_ shaking, stretched out and touched Kyla's cheek, tipping her head up and towards the light. A tense moment, an unnatural stunned silence and then Carmen's graveled voice bled into the quiet moment.

"That's gonna bruise."

Arresting blue eyes swept over her face once more and then her chin was released, a small apologetic smile accompanying the action. Kyla swallowed with difficulty and finally turned towards Ashley and Spencer. One look told her all she needed to know...

They were fucked. Fucked with a pineapple while tied to a Fire ants nest, which translated to very, _very_ fucked. Painfully so.

"Okay, maybe I hit my head harder that I though, because I swear to God I'm seeing your _experiment_ with slumming on my loft floor, Spence."

Carmen flinched, Spencer blushed and Ashley bristled as Kyla simply sat on the floor, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Hey! Not all of us have money shooting out our asses, Davies, so you can just shut the hell up about that. It's not like having money automatically means you have class. Oh and if no one's ever bothered to tell you this, being a bitchy snob isn't attractive on anyone."

Carmen honestly thought she'd be able to keep her temper in check, what with her guilt over what she did to Spencer and her genuine gratitude towards Kyla, but Ashley immediately hit on one of her exposed nerves. She hated being treated like crap, or being overlooked, simply because she didn't have money. She didn't stand for elitist bullshit like that.

Besides, if she was going to be judged then she preferred it was on something _she_ did, like her actions and words, not something she had no control over like her race, sex or how rich her family was. Granted she still wouldn't come out smelling of roses, but it would be a fair judgment at least.

"Oh _please_, spare me the self righteous crap Carmen, because I know all about what kind of a person you are!"

Carmen's heart thumped in panic, her eyes nervously going to Spencer's as she wondered if her ex-girlfriend had told Ashley about what had happened the night after they were at the club. She had hoped that Spencer didn't, hoped that at least a part of Spencer had realized how genuinely sorry she had been for what had happened between them.

Now she felt her chest burn with the realization that Ashley apparently knew and more importantly, that she would now share that knowledge with Kyla. Kyla, the first person who had looked at her like she was an actual human being and not just some animal on the street. The thought somewhat terrified Carmen.

"What with your gangster tattoos and bad attitude, with your petty jealousy. You're a loser who didn't want to let go of Spencer even after she dumped you, which happened to be all your own fault. So I know all I need to know about you, the fact that you're poor as shit simply doesn't make me sympathetic enough to look past all that."

Ashley pushed herself up off the floor then and looped her arm around Spencer's waist, pulling the girl tightly to her side and clearly marking her territory before she faced Carmen again.

"Now I would just like to know what the fuck your stalker ass is doing in my loft."

Though flooded with relief, Carmen still sputtered at the stalker comment, but before she could utter another angry word a hand landed firmly on her arm.

"Would you all just shut the hell up?! I'm five seconds away from literally peeing my pants here, pretty sure _you_ mangled my pretty face," A finger was pointed accusingly towards Ashley at that, "and just generally tired off all this childish insults. So really, could we take a break, cool down and then talk about this like adults?"

All eyes turned towards Kyla as she stood bouncing on the balls of her feet, her legs squeezed together tightly in imitation of every four year old you've ever seen waiting in line for the bathroom. Carmen had the irrational urge to laugh, her temper subsiding as quickly as it had risen.

"You're really about to pee your pants, aren't you?"

Carmen's amused voice drew Kyla's eyes towards her, a smile coming over her face as she scrunched up her brown eyes and nodded.

"Yup, either that or my bladder's going to pop like an over inflated balloon and I'm pretty sure my health insurance just wont cover that."

Carmen nodded her head in mock sympathy.

"Not to mention it'll be a pain in the ass to clean that mess up off the floor, so get your ass in the bathroom before you flood the place. I'll be good while you're gone, promise."

Kyla just smiled and rolled her eyes, then abruptly flinched as the movement hurt her cheek. This prompted her to glare at Ashley once more before heading off to the bathroom in a rush.

Carmen watched her retreating form and then finally turned back towards the two other girls, meeting their eyes a bit more confidently. She wasn't going to lose her temper here again, wasn't going to disappoint the obvious trust Kyla had placed in her and if she was blatantly honest, she didn't deserve to be the angry, disgruntled party here.

She kinda _was_ the villain of the piece...

"So...couch?"

Carmen's tone was light, trying her best to keep things as peaceful as possible, very aware that if she didn't chances were great that her ass was back on a park bench and as much as she knew she deserved to be there, she didn't particularly _like_ it. It was Spencer, surprisingly, that nodded her head first and basically dragged her sullen girlfriend to the lounge area and sank down on a couch. She looked uncomfortable sitting there with nothing but a sheet to wear, but Carmen guessed that she didn't want to go change and leave her and Ashley alone.

That probably wouldn't turn out so well.

They sat in silence, Ashley obviously still stewing in anger and Spencer looking tense and confused, but the thing that really caught Carmen's eye was the way they unconsciously leaned into each other, how their hands met and twined so naturally. They fit, everything about them fit and Carmen once again saw what a fool she had been, thinking that Spencer would have ever been happy with her.

The thought depressed her, but she didn't let it linger as they all heard the flush of a toilet and then Kyla was there, flouncing into the room with an expression of pure bliss etched on her face.

"God, that was indescribably good, you have like _no_ idea!"

Carmen found herself smiling again as Kyla dropped down next to her, her weight leaning slightly against her own side and she was grateful for the quiet show of support.

"I might have an idea. Remind me later to tell you about my fourth grade field trip where the bus broke down and we had to wait a good three hours before getting to a gas station with a bathroom. Sally Whitaker punched me in the eye to get ahead in the line, but it was worth it when I finally got my turn."

Kyla laughed out loud, quite happy to pretend that there wasn't a pretty serious conversation to be had with her sister and Spencer. After all, sometimes denial did work.

"Sorry to break up this heartwarming display of sharing and bonding, but could we get to the part where you explain what she's doing here?"

And obviously sometimes it didn't. Kyla sighed and finally turned to her sister, taking in the thundercloud that still hung about her face and bit down on her lip.

"She's homeless, okay? She didn't have a place to go and I...I thought I was helping her out by talking to Spencer, but that _completely_ blew up in my face and then I didn't have a clue what to do! So in the end I...uh...I asked her to come home with me until I could think of something else. I'm simply not prepared to leave her out there because this might make things more uncomfortable between you and me, Ash. I've made a lot of mistakes, been very selfish these last months, but this isn't like that. This isn't another thing that I've done wrong or screwed up, no matter what you think or _how_ it looks."

Ashley was taken by how serious her sister sounded, by the earnest look on her face and the quiet determination that her set, straight shoulders showed. This girl looked much more like the sister she had first met, the one that seemed like an okay person as much as Ashley had hated to admit it.

"You're really homeless?"

It was Spencer's clipped voice that slipped into the quiet that had settled upon them, her eyes firmly locked on Carmen's face.

"Yes, have been for quite some time now."

Carmen seemed embarrassed to admit it, somehow sure that it reflected just another weakness, another thing that was wrong about her. Spencer nodded her head and pursed her lips.

"You stayed for me?"

She didn't sound excited by the prospect and Carmen could only humorlessly smile.

"I stayed for a lot of reasons, but at the time I told myself you were the main one. Honestly though, I just couldn't go with them when they left. My dad was coming back anyway, so..."

Carmen finally looked away from Spencer, swallowing in discomfort at the mention of her father. She hadn't told Spencer a single thing about her father, not about what he had done to her or where he was, but Spencer had not been stupid. She'd understood without being told that Carmen's father was not a good man. Not a good man at all, so she let her own eyes drop down to her lap and left it at that.

She was still not ready to forgive Carmen for what she did, was nowhere near trusting her again, but a part of her was still the sweet, innocent girl form Ohio that wanted to believe in people, wanted to help if she could, so she looked back up and gave Kyla a smile. It was small and unsure, but Kyla understood that it was a quiet sign of support.

Then Kyla turned her eyes back to Ashley.

"So?"

Ashley sighed, pretty sure she understood somewhat what had just passed between Spencer and Carmen and knew that she was out numbered.

"I don't like it, Ky, I really don't, but I understand. I'm not happy that you brought her into my house and I'm not happy that she's going to stay, but I'm...okay with it. Just don't think that it means I've forgiven you for all the other shit you pulled, because I haven't. And this wasn't as_ noble_ a thing to do as you think it was, because it isn't, Kyla. You went and invited my girlfriends' ex here and didn't think about asking me first. That was thoughtless and selfish of you."

Kyla nodded her head and met Ashley's stare dead on, nodding her head somewhat.

"I know, it was about as thoughtless of me as you having sex with my ex-boyfriend while I was sleeping in the other room. It never occurred to you that it maybe hurt me, just a little bit? I've done so much wrong, Ash, I know that and I've said I'm sorry a million times, but you haven't been perfect either. I've at least made the effort, I've admitted what I've done and taken the blame for some things that wasn't even completely my fault, like that stupid fucking video, but you've just been there judging and making me feel like crap."

Tears shimmered in her eyes and she swallowed, not sure where the courage to say those words to Ashley had come from and embarrassed that she'd done it in front of other people, but she felt better for having said it.

"Thing is I still love you, Ash. I still want to be your friend and your sister, but you make it hard for me sometimes, just like I make it hard for you. I get that it's never going to be easy, but I've always thought it would be worth it in the end. Don't you?"

Ashley sat quietly, blinking hard and fast as her jaw muscles worked frantically. She was angry, angry at the truth she didn't want to hear in Kyla's words and at herself for once again being so blinded by her own selfishness. It had once cost her Spencer, almost for good and now she could finally see that if she wasn't careful, she'd loose the only family she had left. The only family that had ever really gave a damn and stuck around.

"I...I do." Her voice was strained, her hand gripping Spencer's almost painfully as she searched for something solid, something warm. She had never been good with emotion, never been good with guilt and remorse or admitting when she was wrong, but Ashley liked to think that Spencer had taught her the value of it.

"And yes, I'm sorry for the times I hurt you even when I didn't know I was doing it, but I'm not sure that this is going to be enough to just magically fix everything. It's going to take time, Ky."

Kyla just nodded her head, simply happy that she'd finally made some progress with Ashley _and_ gotten the okay to let Carmen stay. All in all it was good for a mornings work.

- - -

An hour later Kyla found herself leaning against her fridge, a pack of frozen fish sticks (strangely enough the only thing they had in their freezer) held against her cheek.

"Just keep icing it and it'll stop it from swelling, trust me. And you might want to try some Ibuprofen, that's good too."

Kyla looked up as Carmen, now dressed and neatly groomed, strolled into the kitchen. She cocked an eyebrow at her and grunted.

"You're an expert on stopping bruises and swelling? When did that happen?"

Carmen thought for a second about being honest and saying she'd had to learn from first hand experience, but then settled for something that wasn't a lie either.

"I have two older brothers and one of them made the mistake of trying his hand at Football. It didn't work out really well for him or his cracked ribs in the end. So like I said, ice and Ibuprofen, you can't go wrong."

Kyla shrugged and pressed the fish sticks back against her cheek. Carmen watched from where she stood leaning against the kitchen counter and sighed, knowing that the next part of this conversation wasn't going to go well.

She'd sat next to Kyla earlier, sat there and listened how she bravely admitted to having made mistakes and she'd felt guilt coursing through her body. She had thought Kyla an idiot the first time they talked, thought she was a spoiled little rich girl that had thrown away every good thing she ever had, but Kyla had proved her wrong.

Kyla Woods was brave and honest, despite being imperfectly human like the rest of them. She had made mistakes, but was woman enough to admit it and bare the consequences. Carmen somehow felt obliged to do the same, to respect the girl enough to come clean to her about everything that she herself had done.

She owed Kyla the truth, especially after what she had done for her, no matter what the consequences. So she closed her eyes and took a breath, then spoke.

"Kyla, when I told you about Spencer leaving me for Ashley, that wasn't exactly the truth. She left me, because we had a fight and I..._God_...I shoved her into a wall when I got angry. I hurt her and that's why she dumped me."

_And the battles just begun  
Theres many lost, but tell me who has won  
The trench is dug within our hearts  
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart_

Sunday, bloody sunday  
Sunday, bloody sunday

_-U2_

- - -

_**Dun dun Dun...**_

**My lame attempt at a cliffhanger. I generally suck at those, but thought I'd give it another try. I'll eventually get it right, I'm sure.**

**Anyway, I hope you liked that and I sincerely hope I didn't go out of character when they were all together in the lounge talking. It gets a little confusing when I have to write them all together like that, but hopefully I pulled it off.**

**Let me know what you thought, yeah?**


	6. Breathe Me

**So, this chapter is...uhm, probably not that good, but I couldn't seem to fix it to my liking, so I'm just posting it. The more I fiddled with it, the more disjointed it felt, so...yeah, just gonna post it as is. **

**Disclaimer the same as always...it ain't mine folks!**

Bad Reputation

Chapter 6: Breathe me.

A bag of frozen fish sticks in the face _hurt_.

Carmen could now attest to that fact, seeing as she had first hand experience with it and all. She had not expected it, not the fish sticks to the face, not Kyla's rather violent reaction to her confession. What had she expected? She wasn't sure, maybe some yelling, maybe a quick escort out of the building, but not frozen food in the face and then utter silence.

Silence, she decided, was not her friend. After sharing her living space with so many people growing up, she had always had an appreciation for quiet, for stillness and solitude, but her months alone on the street and now this awkward, scary silence were robbing her of that feeling. Now she was sure she hated the quiet, hated that she could _feel_ each second tick by, could feel time's slow drag grate on her nerves and make her want to twitch and sweat.

If only she could break the silence, but fear and shock made her incapable of doing just that. So she stood, stood and rubbed her forehead where the hard, frozen pack of food had impacted and stared at Kyla.

Kyla for that matter stood with her back to Carmen, her eyes resolutely closed as she pretended that she hadn't just been taken for the fool _again_. Aiden had lied to her, had made her believe they had a future together and that he cared about her, but he had just been using her as a substitute for Ashley. The same thing could be said for Jake, not the part about Ashley, but the rest. He'd promised her things, had made her think he cared about her and was helping her with her career because he wanted the best for her, but he had done everything out of selfish greed. She had promised herself that she wouldn't let herself be lied to again, that she wouldn't let herself be used by people, but here she was again.

She was back to square one, back to being the dumb little rich girl that was too caught up in herself to notice when she was being lied to. She had been riding so high on her actions, on her role as savior, that she never bothered to take the time to wonder if Carmen was _worth_ saving. Finally, rage washing away in favor of disappointment, she turned back towards Carmen.

"You lied to me."

Carmen hung her head, shoulders drooping as she gave a simple nod.

"I did that, yeah."

Carmen tried to swallow down her shame, tried to hide the quiver in her voice that betrayed her weakness in that moment. She failed somewhat, but Kyla was oblivious to it anyway. She did not hear Carmen's regret, didn't hear how young and confused and scared she sounded. She just knew that Carmen had confirmed the worst, confirmed that she'd been made an ass of again.

"You let me think..."

Kyla trailed off, her quiet words sounding a little lost in the suddenly cold kitchen. Carmen still flinched, still knew what Kyla's lost, incomplete thought was.

"You though I was just a girl with bad luck, a girl that didn't deserve to be living on the street." Carmen looked up then, eyes unseeing as she let self hatred wash over her. "But I do deserve it, I do. I deserve every bad thing that's ever happened to me, because I _am_ bad. I've always known it, could always feel it inside me, but I tried so hard...I tried, but...I'm just like him. Spencer proved that to me, you just proved that to me..."

Carmen knew, logically, that she wasn't making any sense, but couldn't say what she knew needed to be said. She knew that she should be apologizing right about now, knew she should be begging to not be thrown out, but she was incapable of it when Kyla was looking at her with so much...hurt. She had hurt another person, hurt someone that had only tried to help her. The thought had struck her, and it had struck _hard_.

She was truly like her father, even when she was trying to be good, trying to do the honest thing, she ended up hurting people. _ Just like him_. She hadn't hurt Kyla with her fists, or with her anger and her strength, but with her selfish need to unburden herself. Instead of living with her guilt, instead of just doing the right thing and walking away quietly, she had told Kyla the truth in an effort to make herself feel better. She had told herself she owed the girl the truth, but really she had just wanted to get rid of the little voice in the back of her mind that was needling her for lying in the first place.

She blinked back tears, bit her lip and let the familiar taste of blood flood her mouth. She deserved the pain, deserved the sting and burn, just like she always did. There must have been a reason her father had always picked on her, why it was almost always her body that bore the brunt of his anger and distaste. Maybe he had seen his own darkness reflected in her eyes, maybe he had simply always known what she had just now finally accepted: She was bad and that was why it was okay for him to do what he'd always done. It was why he never once said sorry for the blood or the tears like he did with her mother, why he never once thought twice about punishing her for simply breathing in his vicinity.

Carmen found herself stumbling backwards, her feet clumsy, as the weight of her realization hit her. She had always thought it, somewhere in the back of her mind she had known this was her truth, but she'd tried her hardest to lie to herself. To run from what she was, what she's always been. That's why she stayed in L.A when her mother moved, not just because she was afraid of her father, but because she hoped she could become a different person if she wasn't around everyone that reminded her of what she was.

"I'm just...I'm _so_ sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I am what I am...I'm just really sorry. I should never have..."

Carmen felt her insides contract painfully, her knotted stomach a physical manifestation of her self disgust. She felt like she couldn't really breath, like the world was suddenly pressed down on top of her and there was nowhere to go, nowhere to find relief, to find air for her suddenly aching lungs.

Despite everything, despite knowing that Carmen had not only lied to her, but had physically hurt Spencer, Kyla watched with a measure of concern as the girl before her became a stuttering mess. Carmen's face had paled dramatically, her breathing was uneven, labored and she was swallowing almost convulsively as her eyes darted around the room.

Then fear replaced the concern when a cry, a harsh sob maybe, tore from Carmen's throat. There was an air of violence around the girl, in the way her eyes were wild and unseeing, in the way her hands balled up into tense fists. Kyla herself took a step back, her ass hitting the fridge door with a thump as she fleetingly wondered if the girl had somehow just snapped before her very eyes. Carmen was positively humming with energy, a slight shudder running through her whole body as she stood still, tensed.

Kyla found herself waiting, her breath held firmly in her aching lungs, just watching Carmen. Then as suddenly as Carmen had tensed up, she relaxed. Her shoulders drooped again, her arms hung limply down her sides and her eyes were dark, clouded with sadness as they focused on Kyla's face. In that moment Kyla finally understood that as lost and confused as she might feel, Carmen was completely adrift. It was in her desperate eyes, in her hopeless stance, in the way that she stood there with such obvious distress and helplessness.

Kyla saw in a moment of startling clarity that Carmen Garcia was a girl on the edge of something dark, that she was teetering dangerously on a precipice between...well, she wasn't sure really. She just knew that if left to her own devises, this girl would drown in whatever it was that brought a look of such naked pain to her face.

No matter what Carmen had done, Kyla wasn't sure she could simply throw the girl out and wash her hands of the whole situation. Maybe she would be making a fool of _herself_ this time, but her conscience wouldn't allow it.

Yet when Carmen turned, the movements slow and jerky, she simply stood and watched as she made her way towards the door. Watched as she bumped into the couch on her way and didn't even register it, just kept moving zombie like towards the exit.

"Why did you lie to me?"

The words did not pierce the fog of hate, of disappointment and fear that clouded Carmen's mind at first, but when she finally had cool metal in her hand, the door handle twisting slightly, it reached her. She stood pondering the question, her resolve to simply walk out the door and live the live she deserved, one of hunger and degradation, one without love and warmth, suspended for a moment as she thought.

She felt empty as she stood there, felt dirty and tainted and _wrong_, but in that feeling she got her answer.

"I lied to you, because...because I thought for a minute or two there that I could change. That maybe the Goddamn fucking universe had given me a break and that if I just didn't screw it up, if you just couldn't see what I was for a little while at least, I'd have a chance to fix things. Still, in the end..."

She fluttered her hand in the air, indicating the kitchen where Kyla still stood and what had just transpired, then turned back towards the door and after a few more seconds, pulled it open. Then hands were on her bare arms, fingers digging painfully into her skin and she once again found herself welcoming this all too familiar feeling.

"Did you enjoy hurting her? Or me? Did you, I don't know, get off on it or something?"

Carmen felt her stomach turn at the question, felt bile rise up in her throat at the thought of actually _enjoying_ it.

"No, God _no_!"

Then the hands that had gripped her arms suddenly looped around her and she was pulled into the most surprising hug of her life. She simply stood there, Kyla's arms locked tightly around her as she felt the girls face pressing into her neck.

"Then for now, that's good enough for me."

- - - - -

"You threw me with fish sticks."

Kyla nodded her head, her hands never stilling it's motion as she ran her fingers through Carmen's hair. They'd been on the couch for what seemed like hours, Kyla just sitting and simply holding Carmen as she sometimes cried, sometimes just stared into space with no expression, not a word spoken between them. She had wanted to break the silence, but then thought it was probably rude or something to interrupt when someone was in the middle of an emotional breakdown. Kyla was, after all, not a complete idiot and had some sense. Most of the time anyway...

"Yes, but I can't say I'm exactly proud of that fact. It seemed like the thing to do at the time, it was that or throttle you, so I'm thinking you can be happy I chose the 'fish sticks of death' approach."

Carmen chuckled lightly, her voice a little hoarse still from emotion, but she was feeling moderately better. There was still a feeling of disjointedness, a sense of hatred for her life, for herself, but somehow sitting surrounded by Kyla's warmth, and Kyla's soothing hands on her, she had reached a place of calmness. She thought it was only temporary, this small reprieve from the hurt that had washed over her in the kitchen earlier, and she found herself savoring it.

"I wasn't really complaining, just...making conversation."

Kyla smiled a bit, she too feeling happy to momentarily ignore their true situation and just sit there like the world wasn't on their shoulders. Like there wasn't a thousand other conversations they should be having right now then one about fish sticks.

"Yeah well, you're a pretty lousy conversationalist then. There are a thousand other topics to discuss, almost ninety percent of them more important and interesting than fish sticks."

Carmen stiffened, reality finally sneaking back into the situation for her. She knew that this moment of suspended reality couldn't last, that she didn't deserve it to last, so she sat herself upright.

"No, I guess there's a lot of other things we should be discussing." She was quiet for a moment, her eyes skimming over Kyla's face quickly before glancing back out the window. "Why aren't you mad at me?"

Kyla looked at her then, at the confused blue eyes that kept peeking at her and away again and smiled.

"Oh, I'm still mad at you. I'm mad enough to kinda want to strangle you for what you did to Spencer, but I think that can wait until later. Somehow I think now you just needed me to..."

Kyla stopped there, her eyes finally locking onto Carmen's, both just staring at each other in quiet distress, both aware that Kyla had probably stopped Carmen from walking out that door and doing something stupid like throwing herself off a tall building or something.

"You know, I'm not usually that insane. I'm sorry if I freaked you out, if I...scared you."

Carmen shifted uncomfortably on the couch, her body wanting to lean back into Kyla, into the warmth and safety the position had provided her, but she knew she couldn't, knew she wasn't in any position to expect Kyla to be willing to do that for her again. She knew she had scared Kyla, had seen it when the girl had taken a step away from her, when her mouth had opened in surprise and she'd stood pressed against her fridge, staring at Carmen like she had three faces. Three ugly, _deranged,_ faces.

Yet when Kyla pulled her close again, when she settled her neatly against her side and resumed running her fingers through her hair, Carmen didn't pull away. She had already sinned so much, made so many mistakes, what was one more in the end? So she sighed and closed her eyes, content to feel human for a few more minutes.

"I guess I could lie and say you didn't scare me, but God knows you pretty much went off the deep end there, didn't you? I mean I'm used to crazy woman, I _do_ live with Ashley after all, but that was...impressively insane."

Carmen couldn't help but snort with laughter at that. The whole situation was actually freaking her out, making her strenuous hold on sanity waver a little again. Here she was sitting snugly next to someone who seemed to at least grasp that she wasn't whole, wasn't emotionally stable right now or anywhere_ near_ good, and they were joking about it.

Kyla Woods was either really smart, or completely insane herself for doing it. Any rational thinking person would have kicked her out after they were lied to, after they heard that the person they took in was an actual possible physical threat, but here sat Kyla holding her.

"If I'm insane, then you're possibly too brave for your own good or really, really stupid for still sitting here with me."

Kyla smiled, liking that Carmen now seemed to be completely open with her, her words and thoughts not censored in the least. She wasn't sure if she'd have felt the same way had Carmen been upfront with her from the start, if she had admitted the true nature of her break-up with Spencer that day when they'd met. It was hard to accept that it was no more than twenty four hours earlier, that despite it feeling like a lifetime had passed, it was mere hours.

"I think I'm a nice mix of both actually, like a flawed heroine that still manages to steal your breath with her brilliance despite, I don't know, flinging a whale into a sailboat by accident."

Carmen gave her a look that told her she had just lost her and she found herself waving it off.

"Never mind, bad Will Smith reference. Anyway, I'm saying that you shouldn't be doubting my actions here, you should just be glad I'm not kicking your psycho ass out."

It was true, because there was a part of Kyla, a very big part, that wanted to do just that. That wanted to tell this girl that had lied to her, that had done what every other person in her life to date has done, to just get the hell out of her sight and life. Yet, when she looked at Carmen now, when she saw how young she really was, how scared, she knew she was doing the right thing.

Still she could see that Carmen didn't understand, couldn't accept what she was doing, and that meant that she'd wake up tomorrow, or whenever, and Carmen will have quietly slipped out of her life. The thought scared her, made her imagine all the scenarios that could lead too.

"Look, I think I get why you lied. You said you wanted the chance to change, to be something better than you were and you saw me as a way of accomplishing that, right? If you had been honest with me then, I guess I wouldn't have brought you here, wouldn't have given you a second thought, but now..."

Kyla trailed off again, not sure what she wanted to say, or at least not sure how she wanted to say what needed to be said.

"Now what?"

Carmen's voice was small, tired as she spoke and Kyla shivered when the girl's breath tickled the skin of her neck.

"Now I know you."

Carmen pulled back at this, scoffing at Kyla's words as she once again sat up straight.

"You don't know me, Kyla, you don't know a damn thing about me."

Kyla shook her head and whatever humor had been lingering in the room, vanished.

"I don't know everything about you, no, but I know the most important thing. You're just a scared girl, just confused and lost and you have no one and God knows I've been in that position before. If there's one thing I've learned lately it's that we all need someone. So against better judgement, I'm going to help, and you? You're going to let me."

Carmen sagged back against the couch, but this time she kept her distance. She sighed and closed her eyes, blocking out the sight of Kyla sitting there with her earnest expression that she just couldn't wrap her head around.

"I don't think you can help me, I don't think I know how to let you. Hell, I don't deserve your help..."

Kyla finally felt her anger return, felt as frustration washed over her as she listened to Carmen's defeated tone.

"You know what, I don't care if you think you deserve it or not, because you _owe_ it to me. You fucked me over, Carmen. You almost lead to a bigger wedge being pushed between me and my sister, you lied to me and would have kept on doing it if your conscience hadn't kicked in for a few seconds, so if this is what I want, this is what you're going to give me!"

Carmen sat stunned at the outburst, but then she shook her head and narrowed her eyes.

"Why are you so adamant about this? I mean what do you actually get out of doing this for me?"

Kyla watched her for a moment, sat contemplating her answer, wondering if she could return the honesty that Carmen had given her earlier. With a small sigh she conceded and turned fully towards Carmen.

"Honestly? If you can change, maybe I can really change too. I need to believe that no one is beyond redemption here, otherwise I might end up going into my bedroom and giving in to temptation. I might end up using what's in my drawer and getting high, might end up with another loser that I met in some club that'll only make my life harder in the end. I might never be able to fix things with my sister or look at myself in the mirror and like what I see. So I need you to not give up, because that'll just give me another reason to give up too."

For a while there was quiet again, both contemplating what was said, what was implied. Carmen had given Kyla a reason to confront Ashley, to speak her mind and start facing up to their issues together and Kyla had just given Carmen something that almost no one else had before: a chance, a promise of support.

Carmen found herself laughing again, laughing so hard she actually held her stomach and felt tears build up in her eyes. Kyla just sat watching her with a cocked eyebrow. Finally, when the giggles passed and she'd wiped the almost tears from her eyes, Carmen spoke.

"So we're going to be what? Each other's emotional sponsors or something? Like our own little fucked up version of a support group, just without an actual shrink that _knows_ what they're doing? Just you and me?"

Kyla solemnly nodded her head once before answering.

"Indeed."

Carmen slid sideways and sighed happily when Kyla let her settle against her again.

"Pfft, we're so screwed then, man."

Kyla found herself smiling softly as she felt Carmen's hand find her own, felt the soft squeeze that came a second later and felt actual hope flare in her chest. She couldn't help thinking that maybe this wasn't as crazy an idea as Carmen thought it was, that just maybe they'd both make it out as better people in the end if they just stuck together and helped each other out.

"Oh, I don't know, ever heard the expression that two heads are better than one? Or more hands make light work? Or...uhm...I get by with a little help from my friends?"

Carmen cut her off with a snort of laughter and another soft squeeze to her hand.

"Dork, you're totally ruining the moment."

Kyla leaned up and gave her a fake perplexed look.

"We were having a moment?"

So they both smiled and ignored the fact that Carmen had had a bit of a mental breakdown, that a part of Kyla was still focused on the drawer in her room where her cocaine was hidden securely under her underwear. They simply wanted a few more minutes where they were just two young friends, sitting on a couch and joking around.

Tomorrow, Kyla told herself, she'd ask Carmen who had made her think she was so bad, had made her believe she wasn't ever a good person. Tomorrow she'd find the courage to ask her why she hurt Spencer...

Tomorrow, Carmen told herself, she'd ask Kyla why she didn't like what she saw in the mirror, would ask her what really happened between her and Ashley. Tomorrow, she'd find the drawer that Kyla had mentioned and flush it's contents down the toilet...

For today though, they were content to quietly be in each other's arms, to finally just sit and take a long look at their lives and know that if what they saw hurt too much, there was finally someone beside them that wanted to help make it better.

_Help, I have done it again  
I have been here many times before  
Hurt myself again today  
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame_

Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
I'm needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me

Sia

- - - -

**See, I warned you about this chapter, but I think I've got the awkward, crazy stuff out the way and can do normal angst (in my standards at least) after this. Uhm...hopefully this didn't massacre the story for you...**


	7. Lean On Me

**So I'm sorry it took forever to update, but that's just the way it worked out. This chapter isn't exactly long, only 3000 words I think, and some would say not much happens, but I think it's an important chapter. I actually really liked how it ended up, despite it being so...boring. lol **

**To the few that still read and review, thank you very much. I knew going into this that the story wouldn't be all that popular, so I really do appreciate the few that have stuck it out with me so far. I might not update often, but I will finish this, simply because I owe it to you.**

Bad Reputation

Chapter 7: Lean on me.

Carmen wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing, but lately that had been a pretty regular feeling for her. She was stumbling around blind for the most part, not sure what was going to happened from one day to the next. For the time being she had a home, had a friend, but she knew that all of that could be lost very easily.

What she was doing right that second was scaring the crap out of her, because doing what she was doing could very easily get her kicked out on her ass, but she felt that it was a risk she was very willing to take.

If doing this one small thing for Kyla was going to get her booted, so be it, she was more than prepared for that consequence. At this point, despite the small amount of time that had passed since she met the small girl, there was nothing she wouldn't do for her if it would benefit Kyla in the end. She owed the girl, who was in her opinion kind to a fault, at least that.

Hence her rifling through drawers at two in the morning while Kyla lay softly snoring on her back, sheets pooling around her waist as she dreamt. Carmen was quiet, her movements slow and careful so as not to disturb, a very necessary talent when living with a father that got upset if you simply _breathed_ too loudly. This was probably the first time she found a silver lining to being slapped around as a kid and she couldn't help smiling at the somewhat morbid thought.

She froze in place when Kyla sighed, the bed squeaking as she turned onto her side facing Carmen's own prone form. Carmen let out a soft sigh of her own when she noted that Kyla was still out cold and that she hadn't managed to somehow wake her. She stayed as she was for another second or two, her eyes trailing over the contours of Kyla's slumbering face and she noted with some surprise that the brunette was more beautiful in sleep, with no make up and hair wildly splayed over pillow and shoulders, than she was awake.

She had to actually take a deep breath and stop herself from crawling closer to push a tendril of hair off the slumbering girl's face.

To her the the rush of tenderness, and dare she say affection, was somewhat weird, but she shook it off and got on with the business of completely invading Kyla's privacy by going through her stuff. It was for a good reason, so she didn't feel much guilt over the whole thing. Kyla would probably see it differently, but she wasn't much bothered by that fact. Carmen was impulsive, sometimes incapable of even the _slightest_ measure of control she knew, so she was used to doing now and paying for it later.

It took her another few minutes before she found what she was looking for and the sight made her heart sink to her feet. There was so much more than just coke in Kyla's drawer and she wondered with panic just how far down the girl had really spiraled.

Carmen had never touched drugs, a surprise to most people who gave her one look and judged her on her clothes and lifestyle, like a painting hobby automatically meant you smoked pot or had to live up to some artsy image. She simply never understood how someone could so willingly give up control and to her that was exactly what doing drugs was.

She had so very little control to begin with that she wouldn't willingly go and give up the rest.

So it was a shock, a sad shock, to note that not only was there a pretty large stash of coke buried under Kyla's fancy, silky underwear, but there were an assortment of tablets as well. Some had little smiley faces on, some looked like prescription drugs and there was even some GHB, some Xanax. Carmen found herself swallowing with some difficulty, the realization what Kyla was really doing to herself speeding up her heart rate with worry, and glanced back towards the bed.

Kyla's face was peaceful, beautiful, and for a second Carmen tried to convince herself that someone who slept so soundlessly, so easily and innocently, wouldn't be doing something like this to herself. Yet the evidence was in the plastic bag in her hand and she couldn't lie to herself, wouldn't lie to herself, because that wouldn't help Kyla any in the end.

She felt somehow older than she was when she stood up, her shoulders heavy with not just her own burden now, but Kyla's as well and felt tiredness seep into her bones. She would do what needed to be done, but she couldn't help wondering if it would be enough.

How could she, when she was noting but broken herself, help fix Kyla?

It was a depressing thought and for the third time that night she seriously thought about running far and fast. She could dump the drugs and leave and maybe that would be the best thing for both of them. It would be for Kyla at least, because Carmen knew in her heart that despite the girls reassurances to the contrary, she herself would bring nothing but trouble to the young socialite.

There would be trouble when Ashley found out what she had done to Spencer, and she knew that the truth would come out eventually without a doubt. When they'd discussed it on the couch after her little trip to psycho's ville, Kyla had been of the opinion that it wouldn't be an issue, but the raven haired girl knew better than to assume that.

Spencer wouldn't keep lying, though it was by omission, to Ashley for long. That was pretty much a fact in Carmen's book and she knew she'd have to prepare for that moment or make sure she was at least a state away by then. The fallout will be huge and it was going to case more tension between the sisters and it would be all Carmen's fault.

Yet she couldn't imagine herself leaving, not when she could remember the feeling of safety when Kyla had held her. It was not a feeling Carmen was used to at all and the experience had left her somehow fragile, wanting. She needed to feel like that again, wanted to just forget every rotten thing in her so far rotten life and just feel safe, warm and cared for.

Kyla made her feel all those things and she was loathe to give it up, even if she knew that eventually she probably would have. For the time being though she just liked that she finally knew what it felt like to have a real friend, someone who was on your side regardless of wrong or right. Carmen had never had that after all.

It was strange how her heart and her mind seemed to fight her on this, one saying stay and one saying go, and she wondered which one would win out in the end. Time would tell she supposed, or the decision would be made for her later by either Kyla or Ashley.

She left the room then, her feet making no noise as she drifted through the large, open plan apartment to the bathroom in the dark. There was a stillness that Carmen enjoyed in the early morning when everyone was asleep and the world, or your little part of it at least, stopped completely. She liked the feeling of timelessness, liked the way the moon broke through the darkness and shone silvery, magically, on everything around her. It always gave her hope that even in the darkest of hours, there was beauty to be found if you took the time to notice it.

"What the fuck are you doing?!"

Carmen jumped about a mile into the air and abruptly dropped the plastic bag in her hands, her heart beating furiously in fright. When she turned it was to find Ashley staring at her, her brown eyes incredulous as she took in the now spilt contents of Kyla's goody bag.

The light was flipped on and the curly haired brunette stepped forward, her face set in stone as she flicked her eyes over Carmen again.

"Homeless, but you can afford this shit? I knew it, I fucking _knew_ you were gonna try and milk Kyla for cash, but I must say you're stupider than I though if this is what you blow it on. God, I should have had your ass escorted out of here yesterday myself!" She shook her curls and let her eyes drift over the drugs sprawled on her own bathroom floor again before muttering to herself. "A junkie, that's just perfect."

Carmen felt trapped, unsure of what to say or do. She could tell the truth here, but what would that mean for Kyla? Would this lead to more trouble between Kyla and Ashley? Carmen wasn't sure what Ashley's stance was on drugs, but she knew enough about the girl through Spencer to know she'd dabbled with it herself.

Lying was what got her into so much deep shit already, so she decided to just play it straight from the get go.

"It's not mine."

Ashley stilled, her face showing the beginnings of a disbelieving sneer halted as realization struck her. The simple, soft declaration had seemingly convinced her, maybe because of the sadness that had coated each and every one of Carmen's words or her own instincts, she wasn't sure. Yet somehow she had know almost the minute the words had come from the Carmen that it was the truth, the drugs didn't belong to her.

"It's Kyla's? _All_ of it?"

There was only silence and a small nod of Carmen's dark head as answer. Ashley felt her heart constrict, because she had known Kyla was using something, but the display in front of her was so beyond the extent of what she'd imagined. Her sister was using and she was obviously using a lot. Of _everything_.

"Aw, fuck."

Carmen became uncomfortable then, seeing that Ashley had for a minute there forgotten that there was anyone else in the cold bathroom with her, because her voice and her face both betrayed how very scared she was in that moment.

She hadn't felt more like an intruder than she did now, standing in that room watching as fear and worry and _guilt_ chased a path across Ashley's attractive face. Yet it was that last emotion, so clear and precise that Carmen couldn't have misunderstood it, that made her shake off her own hesitancy to be there.

"You knew she was using?"

Ashley was startled by her voice, by the cool anger that simmered beneath the words and by the obvious accusation that was thinly veiled. Why hadn't she done something if she knew about it?

"I...yeah, I knew, but...I...Aw, fuck."

Carmen's anger faded as quickly as it had come, her own conscience telling her it wasn't fair to blame Ashley for this. She had obviously not known the extent of her sisters drug habit and to her credit, Kyla didn't look like some strung out junkie that would make it obvious.

Besides, standing there with her hand pressed to her temple, Ashley just looked so...hurt. Carmen figured she didn't have the right to judge the girl, because that's what she was really, what they all were, just young girls. They were supposed to have parents that cared, were supposed to have someone to turn to when the shit hit the fan, but they didn't have that in their lives. Except for Spencer and Carmen thought it was no coincidence that she was the least fucked up one of the lot of them.

"You wanna help me flush this shit down the toilet?"

And then for the first time since meeting Ashley, the brunette looked at her without any dislike or anger in her eyes. She just looked at her, like she was for once putting aside the fact that she had dated Spencer and just saw _her_. It was scary in a way, because Carmen wasn't sure what she'd see.

Would Ashley be able to see the darkness in her?

"Yeah, yeah I do. I really do."

Without a further word spoken they did just that, threw all of it down the toilet. Carmen didn't want to think of how much the white powder she had tipped into the toilet was worth, or how much of it had already been used. She guessed she wouldn't like the answer much if she heard it.

Ashley looked closely at every tablet she dumped, memorizing each as she recognized them and wondering just how long it had been going on. She couldn't help wondering how she hadn't noticed it before, how she couldn't tell her sister was either high as a kite or close to passing out from sedatives. She had something to pick her up and something to put her down, something to make her forget and something to make her notice everything more acutely.

When the toilet was finally flushed, they simply watched as the potent cocktail of cocaine, speed, liquid x, Xanax and other drugs swirled round on it's way down to the L.A sewage system. Carmen wasn't sure what to say and Ashley didn't want to say anything.

Yet both found themselves saying the same word in unison.

"Thanks."

Then Ashley drifted out the door, intent on climbing back into bed with Spencer and holding her until her heart stopped hurting and the guilt stopped smothering her. She knew that if it wasn't for Spencer, that bag of drugs would probably have been hers. She sometimes got scared when she tried to imagine what her life would have been like if Spencer never moved from Ohio, because before meeting the blond she had been searching for something. Something that she hadn't found with Aiden or any of the girls that had made the trip to her bed and then out her door, and not in the alcohol or drugs that she'd tried.

Ashley knew that if she hadn't met Spencer, if the girl hadn't for some reason fallen as hard for her as she had for Spencer, she would have kept on searching until...well, that was the scary part, wasn't it? She wasn't sure where she would have ended up.

"You okay?"

Spencer's voice was muffled by the pillow she had her face buried in, but her hand was already reaching out towards Ashley where she stood by the side of the bed, watching her.

"Yeah, I just got thirsty."

Spencer nodded halfheartedly and moved over, lifting the sheet and Ashley slipped gratefully underneath it, blinking back tears when a sleep warmed body wrapped around her.

"Spence?"

Spencer didn't react for a few seconds, her breathing steady, then her arms tightened around Ashley.

"Hmm?"

Ashley thought about Kyla, about how she didn't have this, didn't have someone to save her and took a shuddering breath.

"I really love you."

A kiss was sloppily planted against her neck and fingers were intertwined with her own.

"I know."

Then Spencer was asleep and Ashley was left with her guilt, because as much as she wanted to believe Kyla had no one, she knew it wasn't the truth. She had had Ashley, but Ashley simply hadn't been there for her. It was a fact that pretty much broke her heart.

- - -

When Carmen got back to Kyla's room, the girl was still fast asleep, so Carmen got back into bed carefully. She didn't want to disturb Kyla, just wanted to sleep and not have to think about what was going to happen in the morning, or whenever Kyla realized her stash was gone.

Yet sleep wouldn't come and she found herself on her side watching Kyla, her eyes roaming over the smooth planes of her face and the lovely curve of her mouth. Kyla was kind and brave, yet she drowned herself in drugs like a coward. She was beautiful and smarter than Carmen had originally thought, yet according to the gossip magazines she had dated a squinty eyed asshole and without thinking much about it picked up a homeless person.

Kyla was a walking contrast and Carmen found herself intrigued by it all.

She wanted the chance to work it all out, to really know Kyla. More than that though she wished she could help her, wished that their little arrangement of being each other's 'sponsor' would work out. It was the first time since Spencer that she let herself want something and the thought that it could end up the same way as that fiasco had, scared her.

She pushed the fear down though, just like she pushed the need to run away, and let herself slip just a few inches closer to Kyla. She could feel her presence, her heat, and that was good enough for tonight. Still she didn't move when Kyla moved a few inches herself, when a hand landed on her stomach and stayed there, a single point of contact that seemed to flood her with warmth and that same feeling of safety that she'd experienced on that couch.

"I'm here for you, Kyla. As long as you need me, I'll be here."

She would take what she could get, for as long as she could get it and give back as best she could. All she could really give Kyla was herself, her support, so she would. With that resolve she stretched her own hand over Kyla's and closed her eyes, sleep claiming her quickly.

_Lean on me when you're not strong  
And I'll be your friend  
I'll help you carry on  
For it won't be long  
Till I'm gonna need  
Somebody to lean on_

_- _Lean on me, Bill Withers

- - -

**So there, it was mostly set up, but like I mentioned I actually liked this chapter despite it having no interaction between Carmen and Kyla.**

**I hope the few of you that read it enjoyed it and I would love to hear your thoughts if you care to share. Like, am I going to slowly with the whole progression of their relationship? Or is my snails pace okay?**

**Like I said, if you have thoughts, do share them;)**


End file.
